It’s not fear I smell, it’s future
Because even from then, I never imagined continuing on since I’ve lost her
Thinking over the moments where laughter coated our eyes
And life was a game, no mask, no fear of smile lines
It’s not fear I smell, it’s hope
There to hold you when time runs out, that’s the only way to cope
Imagining a world where fire doesn’t devour the hands of a hero
And ice taking the heart starting from point zero
A world where ties do not become knotted and tangled to let just one free
Where we hold hands with pain, interlocking with needs
A world where I never lost you
The story just keeps going and I don’t know how to stop the pages from turning
To bring you back to the place, but I know you’d be hurting
My own desires to be silenced shall keep you safe in a place where
I'm not there
Debating on the choice whether to stay or leave here
What would you want if you saw my face in your reflection
What if you saw the world fall before you even when you know there is no commotion
In the water below you, it’s brimming with shadows
That you think are monsters but it’s just an overdose
It’s not fear I smell, it’s the future
But that is the space where I am scared
A world where I could heal and a world where I could nurture
My love is a universe I cannot imagine
It’s not fear I smell, it’s you
Up above where I could hold you once again in my arms
Where I hope it is safe, but I know that my hands are only capable of harm
But still I reach for you

Every soul
I swore an oath not to lose
became the ghosts
I learned to carry
in silence.

Your scent is trapped in my sheets
Your touch lingers in my skin
Your smile burns behind my closed eyes
Your soul imprinted on mine

I descend into longing madness
Remembering our beautiful moments:
The starving looks
The heated embraces
The soft smiles
The loving touches

We collided like two hungry stars
Longing to feel love
I was yours and you were mine
Only for the briefest of moments
A moment never meant to last

Being an empath
is both a blessing
and a curse

First place
gold medal shine
this moment is mine
smiling ear to ear
but then I see her,
Second place,
quickly wipes her face
her parents think
she’s a disgrace
Did I destroy her dream?
We’re always the villain
in someone’s scene.

Sometimes I hate to feel
every dream
I steal

On this losing streak
Has to turn around
Strive so hard but cannot escape
Failure to which I am bound

Until starting positive changes
Disappointment will remain on your face
Day after day promise to improve
Clear to see that's not the case

Gone are effortless exchanges
Excited words once eagerly shared
Sitting on sheets together
For a relationship was unprepared

In blink of an eye you lifted my world
A little closer towards the sun
Leaving each trace of regret beneath my feet
No idea what we had begun

All the moments spent since
I've discovered in your company
Collected and shown on display inside
Like antique coins or paintings in an art gallery

Done proclaiming pathetic excuses
Instead of trying my best
You deserve someone who would die in order
To protect treasure buried in your chest

Once upon a time we played pretend
Once upon a time, the game had to end
Once upon a time, I lost a friend.
Once upon a time, I reached my end.

Carefree was I, and carefree was she
In a world of our own we were free.
Safe and sound in our beautiful little dollhouse
Before it crept upon us, silent as a louse.

It came suddenly and took everything we had
The windows of our house grew cracked
The glass became cloudy, we could no longer discern what exactly we were.

Our house was empty
and so were we.
Darkness took over her and me -
Perhaps something they could foresee
But of course they never told me.

Now I have no shoes; my feet are bare.
I am bare.
I stand paper-thin, about to tear.
The cold wind stings, and the rain mats my hair.
The sun burns my skin— but I cannot care.

The frailty of me,
All can see.
Sap weeps slow,
This apple tree.

To lose myself,
In winding ways.
To stand with shadows,
Through endless days.

To lose each other,
Hearts may flee.
They mourn their father,
In bitter tea.

I choose to lose,
Do you not see?
I embrace the loss,
For it sets me free.
I show how to lose,
And so, I decree:
I know how to lose.