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Akmal C Nov 2020
I need to remember me.

I need to remember myself
and all the good sweet memories that help me pick myself up
and all the bitter-sweat experiences that help me build myself
that help me find myself when often time I am lost.

I need to remember me
and remember to live.
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
My lungs desire reconciliation
They do not dare admit
Eyelids are sore and drenched
Closing bit by bit

My lips only part to speak
Hoarse
"I hate you so ******* much"
The air is dry and heavy
Body wants your dark touch

Three am is our witching hour
Scared of little disputes
We both morph into monsters
Into obnoxious brutes

Turns out evil seed is sprouting
I think it can't survive
Wondering if I uproot the wickedness
Will I need help to thrive?
Written 3-17-19
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
The greatest honor I have ever acheived
The privilege of carrying your heart received
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Beauty within seems so far out of reach

Being slim comes easily

Starving for something more fulfilling than calories or carbs

For a glowing serving of enlightenment
For soul food
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I am kept awake until dawn arrives
**** these aching wide open eyes
Near to dreams
Near sleep
Far from relief I seek

On bed symmetrically sprawled
Restlessly flipping pillow
Wailing into fistfuls of blankets
Ghostly curtains billow

"You lost him!"
Written everywhere
Each and every item you touched
It's agonizing how I'm forced to see reminders
As if I didn't already long for you too much
A piece of a letter I turned into a poem
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
There is no excusing what you did
Not greater betrayal than that
Heavier now than it was before
That is certain fact
Stressing me out more every day
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
******* my thumb like a nervous toddler

I fooled her into believing
Retained the innocence of a child

And like a baby cried into the void around me without reason

She licked wounds I pretended to have like a lioness cleans the fur of her cubs

Slurping my regrets like spaghetti noodles

I hid truth and to reciprocate she exposes my vulnerability as an infant

Despite deception she still longed to fix whatever made me lie in the first place

And that made me realize
Wasn't acting like a babe anymore

That night was a newborn again
Since then I have started to grow little by little
Day by day
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Trying is a lot harder than the first time we were pressed with overwhelming night
Through dark you stay despite the fact neither can see light
Oxygen inside lungs feels stuck
Tried again alright
Zero luck
Everything falling apart
Can't control a single part
When you are near find new strength
For you I'd go any length
I cannot help it
Head over heels
I watch you smile
Can't explain how it feels
You carried many loads for others with grace
You never had the time for your own goals to chase
Instead drew the conclusion way too early on
That you were meant to be a doormat for feet to walk upon
I have seen those who loved you for possessions you owned
When you had nothing they left you alone
Truly feel like you don't see your worth
Purpose of each breath you take on this earth
Everything should be easier
Than it is now
These obstacles are issues we allow
But possible as that may be
No simpler does get
Problem I see
I am not afraid you'll leave me anymore
Afraid I'll leave your heart sore
People like us hard to find
Not afraid cause our hands are intertwined
Since we created beautiful connection
Senselessly lived with no direction
The idea of without you is crazy
Future lacking your embrace at best hazy
We have confrontation but we always work it out
Headstones will be together no doubt
Painful or not
Til death do part
Closer ghosts than we are with beating hearts
Human or undead
Always be my best friend
Until very existence of Earth comes to an end
I am not ever letting you go
I'm attatched like a yo-yo
If you push down
Spring right back up
Forgetting mistakes at bottom of a cup
Why am I quick to forgive?
I get an apology AFTER forgiveness I give
But this is the way things are
Causes me to keep trust far
But what if you were given a legitimate chance?
Instead of the runaround you gave me real romance?
Just every now and then I'd like to see you put forth your all
Have to believe that if you could choose it'd still be me for whom you'd fall
When it comes to you kinda forget other guys even exist
I can't name a single thing better than the second my lips are kissed
So have to show my love for you in any way I can
Just don't know how to make you see for me you are the perfect man
Written 3-4-19 for my soulmate to explain exactly how I feel about him
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
The soul is something to nurture
To be touched with gentle hands
Will only blossom when cared for
By someone who understands

And your eyes feel like a dagger
Piercing through my skin
Puncturing vulnerable parts
Hidden deep within

Once full of serenity and strength
My body now lies hollow
An ocean of potential dried up
Empty pit where demons wallow

Drawing me in against my will
Like a fish caught on a line
Powerless to escape the hook
Captivity hard to define

Freedom drowned in a sea of regret
Pulled by the tide's direction
Swept up in the undertow
Waves crash and silence objection

Reasons remain a mystery
My heart caged without knowing why
Held hostage by past transgressions
Imprisoned by forces too great to defy
I kinda drifted way from the original meaning with this one
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