I’ve taken the monster out of the cage today.

I suppose it was bound to happen at some point.

This is what happens when you tempt a beast in hiding.

Like my father’s sobriety, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

you have the
key to my heart,

you opened it
without any second
thought.

but you lied.

you told me i had
the key to yours.

so i believed you,
because why would
you lie?

i didn't realize
you lied,
until i tried
unlocking it.

then i saw how different
our keys were.

yours had perfect lines,

while mine was more
of an organic shape,
impossible to
fit into anyones.

we made eye contact today.

                                   The last time I held you was a year ago.

                                                                                               I don't know
                                                                                          how I feel about that.

You told me

Texting/Being online/The internet made you feel sick and uncomfortable

That your anxiety couldn't handle it

And I believed you

I made myself believe that that made it okay when you ignored me for days on end

But now I realise

You lied to me

I made you feel sick

You were able to talk to other people

I saw when my best friend came to stay with me

It was me in particular you were ignoring

Which isn't fair because I never did anything wrong

And maybe you were just trying to protect my feelings

But instead you've hurt me more than you know

You've left me broken

And too scared to fall in love again

I hope you're happy

ocean eyes
your eyes were as deep as the ocean
words as shallow as the sand
i stood in your empty promises
and drowned.

Here you were thinking
Woww life is really great
When you have people that love you
When you have people that cherish you
When you have people that adore you
But what if, just what if thats all just in your mind
What if you made up this fantasy in your head
About everything you've ever wanted
And everything you've ever craved for
And told yourself that it exists
What if you play scenarios that happen in one way and interpret it in three ways
Multiplying the actual meaning of the scenarios
What if you give credit to a person for being themselves but themselves is a liar
What if no matter if that liar is a liar you're happy with it
As the fantasy in your head is unwilling to let go of the part that liar plays
But what if there's more than one liar
What if they're all liars
What if they've only told you what they wanted you to hear because you have high expectations of them
And they know this and you know this
So technically it's not their fault for being on the pedestals you've placed them on
It's not their fault that you're unwilling to accept the garbage of this world
It's not their fault that you keep fantasizing about a happy life with any and everyone that can adore you
What if, just what if you can actually find that someday?
What if you never find that
You're tired of actively searching for people to give you what you can give them
You're tired of being this woman that expects
And expects
And expects
Should you or could you maintain this fantasy without completely
And utterly falling apart
From shame, from pain from torment
Or should you just let it all go and just..
Just ....

-fir.m

I could only watch the fire,
burning all that I hold dear,
all because of that ******* liar,
and my salvation nowhere near.
The flames went so high,
and the smoke even higher,
I couldn’t see a single star,
and all the people just walked by.
I wished to run really far,
to escape this burning light,
where it wouldn’t be so bright.
I coughed, my lungs filled with smoke,
and my heart slowly broke,
as I turned around,
away, from the crackling sound.
I was the liar – to myself lying,
saying, that I wouldn't wake up the next day, crying.
But I am a little bit glad,
now I can stop living in constant fear,
leave my old life here,
and that doesn’t sound so bad.
Sometimes, you need to burn down the things,
stopping you from spreading your wings.
Ahead I could see,
a new life, new me,
towards which I started to walk,
behind me leaving only smoak.

It’s always in a second but every time I keep track of a second it yowls in whine

It’s always in a minute but how long do I need to keep counting for a minute to pass?

It’s always in a year but the excuses that float around you remain timeless

It’s always someday with enough strength in your words

(granted it’s not much)

to make me believe you

every
Time.