In the process of showing, the veil wears thin
Tell me, is it easy to see the fear in me behind the wheel?
I've never known it to be as layers inside a Nolan dream
As for me and what I think, it's much less a fall
More of an untethered float
Where you can spin and you can twist so beautifully
Make movements so behemoth
You would make mountains proud
But mountains are invisible so far out in space
The movements you travel to make will make you stronger
The better current version of you
But people want to know how good they look
Through your eyes from where you stand
Half the matter in the end is that they'll never know
Secretly to them, we're hurt they're never curious.
Curious, what's that?

No sooner than my ankles and arches
absorb the reentry shock
My toes push off
Time to disconnect

Hey Mr, Could you tell me
Whats the best way to die?
There are so many different reasons
I don't know which one to try

Should I, Slit my wrists in a vertical direction
Watch the blood drip down, As a desperate need for affection
The blood draining from my body to surround me in a crimson red, would I finally then feel happiness spread

Should I, Overdose on drugs? Illegal or Prescription?
Feel the nausea and vomiting decay my body, As nobody ever listened.

Should I, Drown myself in the bathtub? Or the pool to make it public
The crushing pressure of my lungs collapsing, As if i am absolutely nothing. A burning feeling will spread through my chest as if I am to burst
But dont look down into the depth cause surely you'll feel worse

Should I, Step onto the highway? With all the cars at top speed
Allow the pain of my bones breaking, As I only wanted to be needed
The impact could still render me alive, But in a world of agonising pain, then everything I had done will surely be in vain

Should I, Light myself on fire? Or torch me and my home
Let the searing flesh melt off of me, As I was always left alone
They will hear my screams for miles to come, but know that it was me
As my charred corpse will remain, forever left unseen

Should I, Hang myself in the closet? Let my mother find me dead
Feel the tightening rope cut short my breath, As nobody heard what I said. My limp blue body will dangle down with a note left by my bed

Should I, Jump off a high building? A tall place with strong winds
For a moment I can fly away, before I splatter across the ground leaving nothing but my outline and some red

Should I, Shoot myself in the head? Allow myself to pull the trigger
A gunshot will echo, I'll fall to the ground, Then I would finally be dead.
I wouldn't feel a single thing just the hurt of those before me
It would be instant and over in a second, that way their tears wont bore me

So Mr, Could you tell me
The best way that I can die?
You've played this game before
So hurry there is no need to lie

Hey Mr,
Its not like you actually care
Whether I personally live or die
So hurry up and tell me
As he's waiting for me in the afterlife

I shout inside my skin,
broken outside and in.

I sounded strange to men,
deranged to the women.

I shutter to my pen,
I live in the lion’s den.

We are escaping. One, two, three, four of us. We are escaping from a shabby, ill insulated trailer home dressed for the 70's. It's poo brown **** carpets and dilapidated yellow wallpaper is behind us, finally. Here we are in brisk mountain air looking over and smiling at one another as we soar down the slopes on our skis. I smile to my right - all the while giggling at our oddly fitted goggles and red, wind whipped noses. I feel completely in control. The other three zip past me and down the slopes. I see them make it to our destination: A nice, contemporary and cozy cottage; but I take my time. I'm moving freely and side to side, wearing a smile as wide as my head. I approach the destination to meet the other three. All too suddenly, rather than coming to a nice stop, I realize that I am approaching a ski jump instead. With out enough time to stop myself, I decide to position my self so that I land in the pond that sits slightly to left of the jump. I hit the jump and soar in the shallowest sky, close my eyes and brace myself for the coldest water my body has no desire of sensing. I become enveloped in liquid warmth just seconds later. It's the most surprising embrace and I almost choose not to leave. But I remerge with my goggles missing and I watch the steam rise from the water in all directions. Asfter I wade to the edge of the pond, I pick up my heavy, saturated body and drag it onto the snow, smiling and unaffected by the cold, wet earth beneath me.

And she jumped
She jumped out of her comfortable, plush launching pad
And she tried
She tried to set every fan to crosswind towards
And she hoped
She hoped that, when she jumped, her cape would carry her
And she fell
She fell onto the shagged carpet, on her hands and knees
And she did
She did all of this, yet she moved on to more fun
And she went
She went on to ride her bike, more confident in her peddling, than jumping
And she knew
She knew that the ground was much safer

None of my friends
     Wanna talk to me,
So I'm just leaning
     On this balcony,
And I'm sheilding my eyes
     From the bright city,
None of my friends
     Ever talk to me,

Man, that sidewalk,
Lined in chalk,
Another dead body-
Cause they couldn't talk,
And another crying family,
And their world, rocked,
Another empty bed-
And a door, locked,
Their son, mocked,
His clock, stopped,

None of your friends
     Wanna talk to you,
So you're just looking
     Out this window, too,
And you're counting your tears
     While you're feeling blue,
None of your friends
     Wanna talk to you.

It's not that I actively want to **** myself but it would be quite easy to just... jump off the top floor of a high-rise building. Feeling the breeze push against your skin and your hair going everywhere, what a feeling that would be. If you try hard enough you could probably hear the bustle of the city under the harsh sounds of the wind. I bet it'd be really loud. Not sure about how I feel about having people scraping my insides off the ***** pavement though. The point is, I'm not so tired of being alive that I can't even find a quick moment to enjoy a second of ****** television but I also am not bothered to try. Sometimes I imagine how it would be to just stop existing, does that make sense? That's when I think about jumping off high-rise buildings. Whenever I'm up there it's like I can see the world for what it is and I feel almost in control. I want to take that feeling and hold it close to my heart, and use it on bad days to make myself feel better but instead, I keep being the person that I am. Someone I really just can't stand or recognize anymore. I don't know. I haven't been up on any high-rise buildings recently. I am trying to keep myself in check, and I think that's what counts.