I disassociate to my "friends" lives scrolling by,
I don't need any spliff or fungus to reach
Peak apathetic  non self congruence.
Watching years pass by in seconds
Is all the psychedelic room temperature
Mental priming for my primate mental
That I could ever hope for

Before being snapped back out
By the cubed carrot reward of
Internet interaction
Which keeps me salivating and searching
For ways to increase the amount of time
I don't have to associate with that guy inhabiting my body
For a while I can see my problems as goners
Being slowly erased from my mind like a magnet over a hard drive

Until a kindly panic attack reminds my of
My lack of lack of control
And the selfless self centered guilt keeps me
Wishing I were working instead of living
Who could be so audacious
As to propose a life out side

Cloudy days and
Lavender skies
Neverending sunshine
Exhaustion runs deep
Like veins beneath
Tearing at my skin
Stripping me of all
My seams

Why do I care what you think
or how you feel about what I say or do?
Should I, especially at my age?
But is not interaction itself the mutual influencing of behavior?
So when I speak to you and you to me
we are changing each other
just as the morning breeze bends the young Chinese Tallows
shaking each spring leaf as if to say, “Wake up tree, its time to grow!”
and the Tallow whispers, "Blow winds blow."
Caring just means I am human
and in spite of everything
I am glad about that.

I met with a vampire today
Standing, freezing, and so unsure
It pierced my heart and soul
Burned me to my truest core

As I sat there in it’s stare
Unable to breathe, think, or go
It whispered with a thundering voice
Asking what I know

I trembled upon the cracked cement
Not knowing what to say
Yet without words or spoken tongue
It went along it’s way

And in that moment filled with fear
I finally understood
The vampire was just myself
Draining my life for good

I thought you became exasperated when I sat next to you
However, you greeted me with the most sweetest and delicate tone
You stared me right in the eyes and instantly recognized my dull face
I never thought of myself as a memorable person, but I was to you
We exchanged our memories of junior year and for the first time in a while, I actually felt like someone had a genuine interest in me
Although we never spoke much before this interaction, I had a feeling that I’ve known you for ages
The bus arrived at your stop and my heart sank as I watched you grab your belongings
I let out a soft “goodbye” and smiled
I’m glad that I chose the correct seat