Oh
to be the girl in those adverts ,
Light,
skinny,
beautiful
A tragic line
to every gentle rib
I fetishise her fragile fingers
A monstrous beast reflected in the mirror, the worst possibility.

Tis poetic, there she stares
Says her lines; remaining fair,
Into my face, My acting is heavy handed and awkward
She’s a consumable reality,
She’s easy on the eyes
The fragile female,
salvageable.

We are a tragedy of ages, her Juliet, I Faustus
They silently boo while I slop onto the stage
A lazy slob,The **** of society, just don’t eat you fat ****. men like curvy girls We don’t want to see you, You’re so brave!  You’re the problem, it’s not hard hide your mass from view, unkempt, repulsive, vile. hide yourself it offends my sharp eyes.
I open my drooling mouth to speak, but there are chins smothering my mouth
My eyes clouded by greasy cellulite
I don’t want to exist like this.

So just stop eating.


I’d give an arm and a leg,
my pale teeth,
my parasitic possibility
my child

in your happy story
i am just a sad word
broken and fragile
happily unwanted and lonely

no,don't speak out
am happy binding myself with lies
let that sink in
want to hear the unending silent shout

can i get a nanosecond
from your infinite moments,please?

chair is spinning around with shriveled leaves
rustling emptiness is what we have
engraved into the souls
imprisoned into the hollow beliefs.

let the dead howling
fight with the strom inside.

you will, won't you?

And it hurts so much
When I feel the way I do
And realise I shouldn't
Like I gotta fake how I feel
And hide my emotions
Or face them head on
And not stop til they're broken
Life's a old arcade game
And I'm a token
I keep getting reused
When I wish I'd just get stolen
To play another game
Bc this one's broken
And I know it's not me
But I still feel like I need to be fixed
I'm in pain
but nobody hurt me
In my brain,
I keep on hurting
It's the same
Who's to blame
Nobody but myself

I lose my value
In men who I trust
A shimmer of compassion is all it takes
And then I drown

Waiting

For months to hear
"How I've missed you!"
And for months there was silence
Until I was the one to give in
And what I realized
When I messaged you
That you are a waste of time

My lady,
I appear to thee.
My face scarred and one armed,
but with a pure heart.
I give you this rose
promising to love you
‘til death do us part.

You reject me.
I am confused
and in agony.

I was driven by a motivation
that was you, my lady
in my imagination
the real thing I wanted to happen.

I appear to thee.
My face scarred and one-armed,
but with a pure heart.
I give you this rose
promising to love you
‘til death do us part.

You take me as yours
with your heart
not your eyes.
You make me beautiful
and happy inside.

When in reality,
I know I’m hideous
and broken.
Cursed
to dream on in fantasy.

I sat with my grief long enough
To be at peace with her
Asked her how she came to live with me
She replies with a simple answer
I am the product of your lovely heart
The heart that allowed itself to be touched,broken and mended.
I asked if she would leave soon
She replied, so as long as love lies inside,
I will also be.

I sat with my pain , who looked wrung out and bled profusely
I offered a cloth to stop the bleeding
But she refused to take it, said she didn’t want to heal
I then proceeded to ask her why she stayed
She starts to cry aloud and shows me her wounds
When I looked carefully I saw that they were bind with heaps of memories and guilt
I slowly took a deep breath and untangled the rusted chains of guilt one by one
The beads of memories were tightly wrapped between the chains
It took me a thousand tries to untangle the mess
But when I finally did, my pain stopped bleeding . She took a breath of relief and thanked me for it
The next morning she left and replaced herself with wisdom

I also sat with my insecurities
We sipped a cup of warm chamomile
When it was all calm, I began to ask her
How and why she became a part of me
She looked afraid and shaken for a while
Then she whispered and told me
It was because the world had distorted my own perception of myself, that she was born and grew to be a part of me
I did not want to kick her out so harshly, lest she be filled with more fear
So I gave her a pat on the hand and kissed her gently
Told her she need not grow any longer
And asked her to become my best friend
I was no longer ashamed to be with her nor was she with me,
And this is how I found a home inside myself.

The porcelain shell of his,
Hid his vulnerabilities
As he went on to only find
Cracks that expose him
To the storms that
Rage over the cracks.
While the devil plays
His trill with glee.

In my eyes you are perfect
Nothing could ever change that
You have done nothing wrong
Not only an opinion, it's a fact

You may believe otherwise
I know you're filled with insecurities
But I'm here to assure you
And save you from your lies

Why do you only see cruelty
When you have saved many without a fee
You help others get better
Yet you don't let yourself be

Your existence feels like a crime  
You believe you are worth no one's time
There is no value within you
That without you around things would be fine

But you are my time, you are why I fight
Being with you feels so right
I feel safe, loved, and warm in your embrace
I long to hold you all night

And you wonder why I love you so
But I just told you what I feel and what I know
In my eyes you are perfect
And I don't plan on letting you go