opportunities that represent , what feels like to live in a heavenly sense . forgive me as I reminisce, In the good times that you've seen to forget . I've told you I've had trouble with this . but yet you still persist . with everything that once was bliss , turned into a wave of burning fists. hoping to die before you slit my wrists and blame it on my own mental abyss . you've sent me in this hole to fix , everything I felt was whole and built with a ton of bricks . impossible to break down unlike sticks . and yet the faucet drips . And I still throw a fit like I have no wits.  and it gets overwhelming , for you to tell me . that all those past times were just more the reason for you to forget me . why is it I have feelings , we planned our daughter , and now you leave me with nothing but a mental slaughter . making me believe I'm insane and now willing to **** for my place as ...father ,will she still see me the same? my daughter now refers to me as her dad and refers her mom as (her) mommy . as if both weren't a part of me . I'm sick with so much envy.

Uncanny names of dark,
Florescent as beauty can be,
I must hide my face from evil,
And keep the shadows in me.

Though hard I try but only in distraught,
My mask removed and my feelings brought,
Through emotions I hurt and spread,
I finally become controlled again.

Maybe I won't feel so ashamed talking to you if I forget our past.. though it's probably impossible.. I don't know..part of me wishes I never knew you.. and the other part wants to be yours again. It's a constant battle though I can never hate you. I just feel selfish for wanting you so badly.. is it wrong? To be addicted to someone like you? You're obviously not human.. you're something else. You're trapped in this world and your mind wants to be free.. I'm not helping much am I.. I'm just here falling in love with you every time we speak.