i remember when i was just an innocent little girl
the only drugs were advil
and the only drinking was juice boxes
the only kisses were for my parents
and i never had to take back my "i love you"

i didn't kiss every boy who wanted to use me
and i didn't get wasted alone every night
i didn't cry over anyone
and the only worry in my life was how much candy ill get

i remember when my biggest fear was the dark
now; the thought of people leaving and heartbreak consumes me

i miss those days

What a world
I, a young girl live in
Where the women will judge you
And the men will hunt you
He will force you into things unimaginable
She will accuse you for every second of it
We can’t blame either side
Because they equally are at fault
But what do I know
I’m just a young girl
What a world
What a world

What would it feel like
To touch your cheek
Caress you and cradle your head
Would your bones be sleek
Would your skin be soft
Would it crawl at my touch
Would you shy away from my hand
Like an animal betrayed
Would you let me
Hold you close
Feel your heart beat against my own
Would you find me gross
Would you let me ask you
All the things I don't know
Would you answer
Or say you do not know
If I said you were a blessing
Would you let me take your hand
If I told you I liked you like crazy
Would you crazily understand
Would you stand by my side
As I faced the world alone
Would you let me turn to you
When no-one will pick up the phone


Would I have the courage
To ask this of you
If we were face to face
Would I think these questions too
Or would I falter
And manage to ***** that up too
Would I be able to bring myself to speak
I haven't so far.
Three words my peak
What hope is there for someone like me
In a world full of killers
And kings and thieves
What should I be?

You may think i'm innocent
I swear i'm not.
My heart is formed with black and skulling memories appear.

You may feel i'm innocent, from the bare downwards hell, which none man has perspired.
Little do you know, it's true.

I may think i'm tragic
The scars inside and out
i'm not.

Deep down I know i'm innocent, when it comes to heart, and bare skin.

I'm not your good girl
I'm not your angel
I'm not the innocent bliss you want

I'm the mess of the world
Im the party girl people judge
Im the **** you're ashamed of

I'm not who you think
I'm not what you wanna see
I'm not this prairie girl

I want to be me
I want to do bad things
I want to be a *****

Why won't you let me be
Me

Dust, in the air
unseen impurity.

The spectrum of humanity, good and bad.
Black and white.

Being submerged in the black feels unnatural, unlike me.

I'm calling on my star for something unattainable,
unused,
pushed under the carpet.

It's presence sparkled when I saw a child laughing at the sky.  

Innocence.

To wear blue, and feel serene,
To wear yellow, and feel joy,
To wear pink, and feel love,
To wear purple, and feel life.

I used to wear Innocence.

I dress differently now,

I wear emerald green, and feel anxious,
I wear a cloudy grey, and feel impersonal.
I wear stained white, and feel everything
I wear only black, and feel nothing.

I wear sin now.

I'm all the things I once wished upon a star not to be.

I peek at you in the crib,
My beautiful babe,
To me born,
An emptiness from me gone.
An Angelic smiling face,
With a lovely grace,
Wrapped in pink lace.
Tiny feet, tiny hands and cute fingers,
On my face linger,
And your soft heart beat,
Pull at my heart strings bit by bit,
Your innocent eyes speak a lot,
So small in every thought.
My love, you and I,
Momma's delight,
A time for a new beginning,
This phase I am enjoying,
My baby girl,
My tiny world.