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Estelle Jan 17
Sometimes when I look at the ocean or an especially large mountain range, I feel overwhelmed and small, but in a good way. It's comforting to know there's something out there bigger than I am. Something large and enduring that has lasted through the ages. Through harsh weather, storms and droughts, through changes in history and climate, the ocean keeps on rolling and the mountains keep on standing tall. When I think of you and how our love and how I feel about you, I feel the same way. My love for you doesn't make me feel small though, it makes me feel powerful and new. I look at you and I know that I will love you forever, through storms and droughts, through all the changes that will undoubtedly come our way. I will love you forever. there's no changing that. Before I met you, I didn't think love was for me. It was something other people had and felt. Something in movies and in TV shows. It felt more like a wish I had then something real. Now that I'm with you, love is so much more tangible. It's something I can reach out and touch. It's more tan a wish or hope (though it does give me hope, for so many things), it's the very real, wonderful person I wake up to. The warm hand next to mine, the brush of hair against my cheek. I love you and because of that love I love so much more than you. I love myself and the world in a way I never thought possible. You've made that possible for me. You've made everything possible. I want you to know that you are the most important thing in my life. You're the reason I do everything. When I get up in the morning, I feel so grateful for every second I have with you and have here on earth. You give my life meaning, you give my days such joy, you are the reason I smile. Thank you for being with me, for joining me on this journey through life. Your love is everything to me. You're my best friend. The person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and last person I want to talk to before I drift off to sleep. When something good happens to me, you're the first person I want to tell. When I'm troubled by something or if I get bad news, you're the one i go to for comfort and support. But you're so much more to me than a friend, you're the love of my life. You're my friend, my lover, my comfort and my strength. I am so lucky to have you. I just wanted you to know how happy I am to have you in my life. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close. My love for you has no beginning and no end. It is cyclical, like life. It is ever flowing, like the oceans. It is as boundless as the sky and as vast as the universe. When I see your face, I see my past, my present, my future. When I hold your hand I feel everything inside of me expand. You are my everything. I will love you forever. Before I met you I was doing fine. And I thought doing fine was the best it was ever going to get for me. I lived a decent life and I was a decent man. I tried my best. But there was always something missing, some emptiness inside of me, a wanting I didn't understand. There was a hole in me. I didn't know that happiness like what we have now even existed. I think of my life now, how it is with you, and you've filled that hole. You are the missing part of me. With you I finally feel whole. I am so much more than fine. I am so full of love for you. I love you so much. You make my life complete. I never used to look at the stars before. I don't know why. I just didn't think about them much. They were just there but they didn't mean anything to me After meeting you, I seem to look at them all the tie. When I gaze up at the stars I feel hope now. I feel something more than I can explain. Since meeting you things like stars fill me with awe. I can see the beauty in things that I missed before. After seeing your beauty, after experiencing the way I'm able to love for you, I find I have more love in me for other things. You've changed me. You've made me see the beauty in this world. You're so so beautiful to me. You're so important. I love you. When you feel weak I am here to be strong for you. When you are strong, i'm here to lift you up and make you stronger. When you are sad, I am here to bring a smile to your face. And when you are happy, I am here to enjoy every minute of it. Because you do all these things for me. When I am weak you give me strength. When I am sad, you can make me smile every time. I am so grateful for you and our life together. I have found my perfect partner. I am here for you. I will always be here and you will always have my heart. It has made me better loving has made me wiser, and easier, and brighter. I used to want a great many things before and to be angry that I did not have them. Theoretically, I was satisfied. I flattered myself that I had limited my wants. But I was subject to irritation; I used to have morbid sterile hateful fits of hunger, of desire. Now I really am satisfied, because I can't think of anything better.
I was sitting in the dark crying because I don't really know...I have been extremely depressed lately and went to bed at six pm with very very negative thoughts so that I didn't have to feel anything. My boyfriend wrote me this while I was sleeping. He failed English two times and has ADHD so it is extremely hard for him to sit down for a while. I cried of happiness. I love this man.
Estelle Jan 11
I sat in the tub, shivering.  Dad had left in the middle of my bath and I had no idea where he was.  I was three and I remember every detail of this first time he left me. I remember staring at my loose littlest pet shops floating upside down in the water.  That's how I felt that day. So helpless,  alone,  scattered, floating.  Each one on their own.  I stood up and carefully tried to climb over the edge of the tub to get out and find where my dad could have gone forty minutes ago while we were having so much fun splashing around.  But as I was yelling "daddy" I slipped on the cold splash water on the ground.  My knee was scraped and I cried I cried I cried I cried of course I cried because this was the first time.  That my dad left.
Estelle Jan 11
There is this boy who sits near me

And everyday he calls my body hot

But every.  Day.  Right after that he tells me my teeth are not.

He compliments my **** and all the unwanted attention comes my way

I know I have my flaw I tried just to pull it out

And now I'm crying drowning in tears because I know its my smile that isn't beautiful
True story... Every.  Day.  And they aren't even that bad... I thought
Estelle Dec 2018
I just want you to choose me first

I just ******* want you to pay attention

I know I'm needy, but it's me you chose

Or is it?

I don't want anyone else

I don't give a **** about what they all do

Just choose me and nothing else

And I'll do the same

Even amethyst knows how soft you can be when you love me

It makes me scream

But it's so good, the way you love me.

As long as it's only me

Because I'm not a piece of cake for you to destroy while you walk away with frosting in your grasp.
Sorry if this doesn't really make sense...well it does to me so :)
Estelle Dec 2018
Daddy #1: Go $*%@ yourself for leaving me and lying about wanting me in the first place.

Daddy #2: ***** you for manipulating me to get to someone else.

Daddy #3: Thank you for saving me from myself.
Estelle Dec 2018
The love demon has latched onto me. It feeds off my dis-pare of relationships, and turns it around for the worse.

Right when I find common ground
the demon takes away the sweetness

And right when I feel rebellious
The demon takes my courage

For when I start enjoying
the demon takes all pleasure

The demon takes my love so sweet and burns it to the ground.

Part of me believes it's for my own good

That one day a man will be resistant to the horrid creature.

But part of me thinks

what if the love demon is me...
Estelle Dec 2018
called me
True story people :)
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