She sits alone in her room,
Listening to the sound of raindrops pounding on the window,
Demanding to be let in.
She cries in silence, for the pain she bares is too much,
She laughs with friends, flirts, jokes, alive with joy,
But in the end it's when she's all alone..
She chokes..
The crushing weight of dread, loneliness, and sorrow stab at her chest..
She wonders, when can she rest…
The voices are upon arrival, telling her there's no survival;
She pulls herself closer to hide the demons within..
But how can you drown them if they know how to swim?
‘Dunk them under’, they say, ‘smother them’;
‘How can I do that’ , she asks, ‘If they are inside me?’
As the rain pours louder, her heart shatters like glass,
The sharp edges cutting fast,
She asks herself,’How much longer can I last?’
As she takes the final slash

What is in my body that makes me weep?
Despite the happy little moments too little to keep.
Despite the tingly churn in the deep of your core;
The sweet dripples from the tongue of your lover.
The tears you licked from their cheek.

What is in my body that makes me look elsewhere?
Despite the comfort that is always there
Of a mother’s protection or a friend’s soft stare.
When the sun is shining and you’re sitting beside them,
Silence is fluent and words are spared.

What is in my body that the limits my mind?
The child wanting to escape the catacombs built inside.
The herd of horses held back by leashes.
The storm in a jar evaporating as I speak this.
An umbrella in my hands thwarting all sunshine.

Who is in my body when I deny my name?
Despite delicate moments when my crises are tame
And the mirror sheds its simulated black skin;
A screen I painted to cage my reflection in
To keep those sharp teeth from reducing me to shame.
Who is in my body and what is her name?

"Welcome to my red room"
"Where trouble can find you ,
Ease into my red room,
We drink the darkest liquor & gossip,
Like we blood sisters,"

Welcome to my red room,
Excuse the weeds and the mold in between the bricks of my dome,
I'll clean it up soon,
Entities and enemies ,
Lovers and lovelies ,
Welcome to my red room,
I don't fit into the box of stereotypes,
Meaning my mind & heart is big,
but my body is small bite...
Red aesthetics surrounds a room,
It makes it comfy for 1 person ,
Even though there's 5 to each room,

"Welcome to my red room,"
Where there are shadows on each wall,
Murals of black bodies and death claws,
Books with magic & art filled with little devils and demons,
Knowledge is what I'm feeding and breathing off of,
She walks with knives under her feet
& she glares with shades so dark for her eyes,
She kisses the Devils lips,
What an unearthly surprise,
In love with a beast,
Who lives in the red room?
Fire places spits flares around the room?
A love that is soon to be doomed?
Why is she living in my red room?
Lady Blonde trapped in a corner,
Deep into her cocoon,
So no one ever saw her,
Holding her head in the darkest corner,
Rocking back and forth,
As she bleeds tears from her pretty brown eyes,
I can see it from the corner,
Corner of my vision
Peripheral vision,
More like easing into the depths of death,
Peripheral death,
the evidence that has been proven,

She has the deepest cracks on her face,
As she breaks on the inside,
It is getting crazy on the outside,
She pounds cakes of makeup,
As her enemy in disguise beats her canvas in like a punching bag,
His songs she would hum,
Until her face is finally done,
Her smile is stitched together,
For now before her peace is gone...

"Welcome to my red room"
"Where trouble can find you ,
Ease into my red room,
We drink the darkest liquor & gossip,
Like we blood sisters"

*"Welcome to my red room"