I could say
that I know what I want from life

I could say
that I want life

I could say
that I know what I want

But I don’t

I reach out and pound on the glass.
I scream to the world, fist bleeding,
Voice scratching into hoarse whispers.

Everyone. They all move...on.

The roads diverged. And I’m on every path.
But more importantly I’m on none.

कैसे समझाऊं की कितना नादान है तू
अपने ही हालत से अनजान है तू
सच्चा है तो सच क्यूं बोल ना पाए
ए दिल, कितना बेईमान है तू

कभी होंठों पे हसी का इनाम है तू
कभी पलकों में सावन का पैग़ाम है तू
गिरगिट भी हैरान तेरे बदलते रंगो से
ए दिल, कितना बेईमान है तू

सोचता था कि सतरंगी आसमान है तू
पर अब लगता है मौसम ए तूफान है तू
ज़ंजीरों से है शिकायत पर तोड़ना भी ना चाहे
ए दिल, कितना बेईमान है तू


How to make you understand how naive are you
Your own feelings are unknown to you
If you're truthful why can't you speak the truth
O heart, so dishonest are you

Sometimes a prize of a smile at the lips are you
Sometimes the message of monsoon in the eyes are you
Even a chameleon is dumbfounded by your changing colours
O heart, so dishonest are you

I thought a rainbow-filled sky were you
But now I feel a raging storm are you
You complain about your chains yet don't want to break them
O heart, so dishonest are you

I don't want to get into battles that are not worth my time. My energy is limited, I can't waste it.
My heart and mind are in a constant rhubarb of indecision. Where indecision ends, living will surely begin.

The world doesn't want to be silent
but you do

The world can't go a second, without some click or tap
so I guess you have that in common

The world speaks, its every noise a story
but yours are hollow

I can see right through you
you don't know how you feel

I know those hesitations and excuses
you don't know what to do

I could tell you more about yourself
you don't know I understand

Leave it for me to tell you
what the world has shown me of you

Leave it for me to tell you
what you're afraid to say

Leave it for me to tell you
that we're a perfect pair

I am torn in two, divided yet whole.
Split in half, I hold both parts of my soul.
I thought I knew the answer— I don't know.
Don’t count on it— It’s decidedly so.

I should make the choice— we can never choose
Let’s flip a coin, heads they win, tails we loose.
—We lost— Let’s shake the ball for counsel
With out a doubt! —Or is it quite doubtful?

Yes or no, or maybe so, we will see.
Yes, I know, just let it go, we are free.
Are we wrong, or right, is it day or night, tell me.

Am I torn, divided, or split in two?
There’s a difference?— Oh if only I knew.
The voices in my head say they know what to do.

1/28/19

I am torn in two, divided yet whole.
Split in half, I hold both parts of my soul.
I thought I knew the answer— I don't know,
Do I dive in head first or take things slow?

We should try being friends first— her smile.
She laughs— a half of me sees an aisle
I’m too quick to jump— no, too slow to move
I’m too sick —Make a choice!— Will I ever choose.

Yes or no, or, yes and know? We’ll see,
Or maybe we never will, please, tell me.
Someone, anyone, will I be set free?

Am I divided, split, or torn in two?
Is there a difference? I wish I knew.
Oh, for crying out loud,what do I do?

1/17/19

Should I stay or go?
What I want and need aren't clear
Someone help me please