I can feel it moving
like cold water sliding gently over my skin,
like a breath filled with crystal shards
breathing on my neck
as I sit staring in the endless void above me.
The slip of stone that shifts so softly from my face,
the heat falling like stars around me
as the pale rush fills me again,
coating everything that I thought I felt,
but I can't reach it,
can't raise these hands that were once so strong,
so human.
My heart beats,
the thumb of blood rushing through my veins
is the only thing that reminds me I'm here,
I'm something beyond a memory.
I move through the world, one empty step at a time
trying desperately to fill this shell,
to find all of those pieces
that have peeled away as the years went by.
The mirror stares back at me,
showing me brief reflections of something
that can't be me,
it can't be what I remembered I used to look like,
like what I used to feel like,
the smile that I once used to find so hopeful.
It was shed away with everything
that made me something worth saving,
something worth that brief touch of humanity
that has left me,
that filled these dreams,
filled them until they turned into the nightmares that I live with,
the ones that only seem to stretch
into never ending visions of my past
that I can never relive,
and a future that looks so dark.
I can feel where hope used to be,
where fear used to be,
where a human used to be
before this ghost consumed me
and brought to the darkness,
the sharp edge of life slowly tracing around me,
and leaving me lost, cold and alone
until the world has decided it's done
and rest becomes something I can no longer control.
