A feeling
That will never be the same.

intentions go back and forth
I love you,
I love you nots.
this moment
alone,
we are silent.
a seat on my porch
and a chance to miss you so.
give in,
then release.
my memory labeled false,
just a kiss-
to feel a pulse
here,
in this moment,
who is going to be at fault?

Maybe you will wake up one day and feel this way too
Maybe you won't
Maybe you will wake up one day and think about my smile first thing
Maybe you won't
Maybe you will wake up one day and all you will hear is my laugh on repeat
Maybe you won't
Maybe you will wake up one day and think about how you wish it was me
But you probably won't

Being in my late twenties is not as **** as I thought it would be.

Now I find myself waiting for my thirties.

When I'll be

thirty, flirty, and thriving.

I would at least like to hold on to the last part.

Thriving is what I want to be.

I feel like being in your late twenties is second teenage hood.

You develop new skin problems and need meds, you are also a reckless mess.

But hey at least now you live alone,
at least now you
are grown.

In a sense.

I'll try to enjoy my late twenties.

As my sisters surpass my talents.

Maybe thirty will be my year.

Or 40.

Being far from home alters reality
You seem to dissolve away
We experience two nights and mornings
It’s hard to keep track of the days
I printed out a photo of you before I left
I don’t take it out often, I swear
It’s just so I’ll have something to hold onto
And I like to know it’s there

Feel free
Message me
Anything you need
I smile mechanically
You know better, see
I never take opportunities