If I've fallen asleep, if indeed this is a dream, I beg you not to wake me
Leave me, don't hastily take from me this flurry of happy energy
Finally in a state I honestly never thought I'd get back to fully, at least not naturally
I've found the pieces to complete me and managed to pull it all together neatly
I thank a different God weakly, genuinely grateful to be able to say that and mean it deeply
Listen man, it wasn't easy for me
I was afraid the iron mask I wore would have left me a scared form
A deformed, grotesque ground up mess like I've been starring directly into an acid rain storm
The type you don't typically walk away from or come out same person
And I did indeed emerge through the swarm of locus a transformed man but barely human
It changed me but not for the worse like I had thought it would at first
But see, I thought I was cursed cause everything I touched became immersed
In a darkness that could not be reversed, through the shadows of the valley of death I've traversed
Coerced into wandering for years in the desert, dying of thirst
Accepted that a torchered existence was my life, a complete absence of any positive essence
No instant answers to the many questions, just a silence that tests my patience
But in this instance I've been awarded for my persistence, praised for my due diligence
Regardless the distance I've had to crawl, the depth I've had to fall, tears and all, no elegance
But I've finally made it y'all, it's 2:05, I've made it past last call
The rolling snow ball that gained speed and size and chased me like Indi has crumbled at the base of the wall
The one I built and armed to the hilt, no small feat but worth it all
And now, come night fall when I lay my head down to sleep I'm no longer greeted by the frightful
The eclipse is over, a new light emerges along with a wind to take with it the ashes
Those of my former self because I'm past this, left my baggage at baggage claim when I got off the plane at my new domain and ignore it like I'm ignorant to it as it passes.
Instead of the past consuming my minds eye I now get flashes
Of the future, it must be a new feature that came with the new glasses
I'm not one of those hyped up bad ***** but with a life like survival classes
And having endured a million lessons plus physical therapy sessions to rid me of the cast and crutches
I'm almost ready to move mountains or part seas like Moses, self worth raising like taxes
Watching intently as the person in the mirror changes right in front me to a new surface, a fresh canvas
Inside it's the same rerun, battling the fact that I'm not comfortable with change for any reason, not in the slightest
Anxious about the possiblity that it crashes around me rendering me a carcass post crisis
Then it's back to square one, stripped of my a dignity like a tree barkless
But unlike a tree, I am not heartless, an emotional mess? Yes, but regardless
I've been blessed with a little boy so I need to employee better aim and better targets
Can't spar with the darkness, the gloves are off, time to end this circus

©2018

<|>

“IF we are each created in His image,
how glorious is the diversity of our deities,
each of us a tiny drop of paint on a tableau
of a small planet, insignificant but
uniquely beautiful intelligent species of godlike creatures,
“deities~human”

<|>

wise enough to know mine philosophical shortcomings,
for they are many,
insufficient wisdom, more than sufficient laziness,
but sometimes even the *o b v i o u s
strikes a rhyming chord,
even so, delving into God’s image
is for the foolhardy,
ergo ipso facto,
I am that,
that fool

but the boundaries of common sense poetry,
offer healthy delimitations,
and as rhe day wanes, eyes go blurry,
I am content to laurels~rest:

I do not count the times,
I’ve called out my beseeching deities,
I do not count the numbers of names,
we have designated and available for them,
or how many I’ve employed, and which replied
or the varied shapes they assumed,
to get my attention,

but this is a poem,
cannot leave you hanging,
if you paid your dues for joining me this far:
the due is due you:


them
(their ONLY pronoun),
keep their answers
short and oft inexplicable,
yet strangely satisfying,
for being a deity
they employ common sense,
and the answers frequently found
on a list of Frequently Answered Questions (FAQ‘s)

the most common response,

“but you already knew that!”

I am just me.
A single being.
A beginning and an end.

I am just me.
An individual.
My character and personality and morality belong to myself.

I am just me.
A human alone.
My heart is mine alone to own.

I am just me.
A person all my own.
My worth terminates in myself alone.