A rainy day,
an acoustic guitar,
a notebook,
a studio apartment overlooking the city.
"I want to measure my mornings
in spoonfuls of coffee
and my nights in empty cigarette boxes."
I don't remember the name of the poet who wrote that
but it couldn't describe my life
any more accurately.
I want to measure my mornings
in spoonfuls of coffee
and my nights in empty cigarette boxes.
I want to measure my happiness
in rainy days and soft kisses,
poetry,
I want to measure my recovery
in full meals and trash bags full of razors,
in tears shed by my eyes
instead of my skin.
I want to measure my free time
in independent movies
and 4 different kinds of music-
indie,
hard rock,
classic rock,
and pop-punk.
I want to measure my infinities
in starry night skies,
galaxies, constellations,
physics books I got in middle school
and his eyes,
his smile.
I want to measure my victories
in minutes without smoking
and my losses
in blaring headphones
and labyrinths of white smoke.
I want to measure my work ethic
in sick days
and missed bills.
I want to measure my heart
in belly dancing
and ***** converse,
in beanies
and minutes spend holding him.
I want to measure my life
in written chapters
and highlighted smiles
in blue Christmas lights
and TV show references,
in my favourite movies and novels and songs
and my dependence on myself,
in cans of Peace Tea
and Pringles
and not regretting eating,
in pens that help the words flow
and laughs,
smiles,
hugs,
kisses,
and hope that in the future
things will be alright...
More alright than they are now.

Too many times I wonder
If the life I live is true..
Full of hope and disappointment
An avalanche, without rule.
When I'm conflicted in my mind,
I only ask myself one thing:
If the life I lead is happy,
Why question what will be?

Before you, I couldn't understand
Why everyone made such a big fuss
About kissing...
Once my mouth met yours,
I was hooked.
I can remember every time our lips have touched.

The first time,
In that old van at the drive-ins-
I was sick with anticipation;
Your nervousness was tangible.
When our lips finally met,
It was everything I'd hoped for.

Then that night by the water:
My feet were in the lake,
Your hand in my hair.
I breathed in your warm scent
And my tongue found yours.
It all felt so right.

The best kiss of all-
While we sat on the beach,
There was sand in our mouths
But we were too happy to care.
As my fingers tangled in your hair,
You were the only thing that mattered.

But eventually I learned
All that glitters isn't gold.
Because somewhere along the way,
Our kisses lost their sparkle.
Now I can barely remember
The way that you taste.