How are you?
I’m uncomfortable
I don’t feel safe in my own home anymore,
The one place I should

How are you?
I’m heartbroken
I try so hard to make my friends happy,
Yet I seem to fail every time

How are you?
I’m confused
We’re all told to act a certain way
Don't vape, listen to your parents, and go to church on Sunday,
So why does it feel like I’m the only acting that way?

How are you?
I’m Frustrated
Because I can’t be perfect and because of that,
I’m letting people down

How are you?
I’m Ashamed
I try to be that good little girl they expect me to be,
but I just can’t seem to get it right


How are you?
I feel different
As if the way I was raised makes people see me differently,
so I’m treated differently

How are you?
I feel so alone,
I have plenty of friends and family,
yet it still feels like I have no one,
no one to talk to,
to tell them my problems,
to be there when I need them most

How are you?
I’m crying
But only where no one can see me,
I’m the happy friend remember?

How are you?
I’m fine

Myself loved to play hide-and-seek.
That game went on for six years
I almost started to believe
that I lived in it.
My happiness used to hide in any place –
behind my smile most of all,
so that nobody could find my sadness
underneath it.
I’ve always had this weird cough
since I was fourteen.
I sometimes thought that
maybe,
somehow,
it was my own sadness trying
to find its way out of my mouth,
just to suicide itself on the pavement.
Tired of being in the dark
but too scared of the light.
The first time I said out loud
I was gay,
I cried so hard.
I used to think I was
ill,
dysfunctional,
twisted.
But once my father asked me:
«Who can tell what normality is?».
Today I am twenty years old and
I’m who I have always supposed to be.
Myself has grown up
it doesn’t play hide-and-seek anymore.
I am finally able to say
that the true meaning of “Pride”
is to not be ashamed
of who you are.
It’s to be thankful
for you you are
with no ifs or buts or if onlys.
It’s to look in the mirror
and see not a burden,
neither a failure.
Instead a heart and a soul
from which you find strength and love.
I have spent so many years
committing hate crimes against myself.
Now I’m working so hard
on loving me and
it’s not ******* easy.
But here I am
out of the closet
enjoying the light
I’ve been missing.

I was trembling and sweating
Heart beating like drums,
Pulsating through your ears and body
Tingling vibration in my skin
Chills walking on my spine
Darkness loomed my mind
The cowardice had taken over me
Provoking my deepest anxieties
The demands of courage are different from what I envisioned
Different from that bright morning, when I felt brave

Hiding behind a wall of secrets
Kicking
Trying to get out

From time to time someone finds
The way around
They see behind all of the lies

A small boy
Curled up, afraid
Trying to get a glimpse of the other side

And when he finally sees the light
Words like she and her
Push him back

He finds that it is best
To rebuild the wall
Return to hiding

And go back to pretending
That he is happy
How people see him

And those who saw
Behind the lies
Forget that she is really he

It seems nothing will ever change
Until the day the wall comes down
And none of it remains

hey Sun,
i just realized
you don't love me
you never love me
you won't love me
and
i can't make you love me

- S.I

Put on the filter to make myself better.