there you were
guiding me with love and brutal honesty
how you made things simple with just a laugh
days passing by but you never really changed
you never stop teasing, smiling or advising me
in each moment steadily saving a memory of you

and in the symphony of my life
you were the steady rhythm that played non-stop
simply more than the english word can describe or understand
and it made me whole, happy to be wanted, attended and needed
knowing fully i do not worth such a person willing to stay beside me
mostly you anchored me during the bad and worse times
and very memory of you will be cherished

i wonder if the demons that follow me
trail behind your thoughts like they do mine
do they pierce the wounds
or do they create new tears upon the flesh
of your beautiful carcass

it hurts when i touch you
i’ll comeback for more
because the inclination to pain
is all i know

let me rip away the ivory
from the elephant in the room
rebuke its presence
cover my ears
so i don’t have to realize
these anxieties you bring
they long to dethrone me
rip apart each bone
pick apart this broken brain of mine
with each triggered nerve
i scream it’s okay
putrid false indifference
hopeful lies
for the barren sober pain

give me ugly
use your words to serrate my soul
paint me bad
lacerate your name into my tongue
whatever you do
do it for fun
because the impression
of your touch
burns like the birth of a star
the pressure from the nebula
collapses my lungs
stifle me with my own emotions
burn me to ash