Heaven: the house of the Lord.
Everyone aspires to enter it.
I was lucky.

You brought Heaven to me;
The paradise in which I aspired to be:
A place of joy;
A place where I met an Angel.

Heaven: a place of solace.
Everyone wants it.
I was lucky.

Heaven’s warmth radiated from you –
The light which you brought:
Was a burning hellfire;
A burning desire.

However

The Heaven you brought,
Was not meant for me
It was meant for another.

You left, or… did I…?

The Heaven you brought –
Gone.
The warmth you brought –
Gone.
The innate desire…

It wasn’t gone:
It intensified.

The Heaven you left me:
Was a scorched earth.

The light you left:
Inflicted pain.
Only
Darkness brought
Solace.

All that was left,
Was the burning desire,
Of a hell-fire.

Here,
In this endless abyss.
I understood
That I was lucky –

The Heaven you brought.
Was not for me.
But another.

because even when you left
i kept searching for you
tried finding solace
in another's pair of lips
but nothing was ever the same
and i knew that
heaven wasnt a place on earth
but it was a home
that i shouldn't have
mistaken for a house
with you.

Hell bends when you glare up into the clouds above your head
The Sun glows with its light, gleaming upon your hopeful eyes
You reach up into the transparent blue sky
Fingers rippling heaven, patiently waiting for you

Heaven is in the palm of your hand
You wield the power of it
It's yours for the taking
Yet you shed icy tears

For what?
You miss your home?
You miss the comfort of your brothers and sisters?
Your heart aches for solace?

When heaven is knocking at your door
Welcoming you to come inside and sit by their wooden table
Hell bends and breaks
You are what they fear

Your mistakes cannot redeem you for what you've done
Heaven has already redeemed you
And hell only fears your presence

I finally figured it out
How to get up there pre-death.
I crawled my way up to you
Without leaving my own bed.

I tried to break you out
But they wouldn't let you leave.
I tried to break you out
To bring you home with me.

I got kicked out of heaven
No they won't let me back.
They said if I ever tried again
To prepare myself for attack.

I'll go back everyday
If I had the slightest chance.
I would play their little games
And I would dance their little dance.

You may call me selfish
Cause I know that you're safe.
But you took apart of me
That I can never replace.

I tried to break you out
But you didn't want to leave.
I tried to break you out
But you made a home there without me.

Your lips are spun with gold, they touch me in the softest spot, I cannot speak, you thread me in your love.

My eyes are filled with tears, I cannot breathe, your face is light, the heavenly will scream to me, they miss you dear.

For every angel falls, it loses hope, it gains the world, and gods will pine away, they miss your scented skin.

And every man will crave the silver touch, the kind of silk between your thighs, you taste like home.

Heart inside my throat, I swallow hard, my mind is caught within the web, within the strands of shinning hair.

Choke me ‘till I die, I’m just like them, a climb to heaven, drop to hell, my angel I must go and leave you in the dust.

For man can become god, can climb the sky, can stand in stars, the moon his platter, sun you birth me in your perfect light.

Angel you have fallen, I have climbed, for heavens replace purity, they see the world as balanced in thine eyes.

In all my lives I live with you, I stand by you, I reach towards gods yet stood beside you in the past.

But now I see, the sky is clear, my path is here, a ladder of the galaxies, a chance to triumph, door to futures, key to worlds.

Man will fight and man will build, create a legacy, yes, rip apart the cry of femininity, he takes and builds his walls.

And I am he who sees his chance, who cries at last, my love, my angel, fragrant as you are, I leave your love behind.

I walk away, I climb the sky, I kiss your hair, your eyes, and see within your tears a world of emptiness and pain, but I am god.

This is heaven
I’m in heaven
Heaven sent from the clouds above
This location
Of God’s creation
I never thought I’d see
I never want to leave

Heaven inside you
Heaven is all true
Heaven’s been on my mind
Heaven within me
Heaven forgive me
Is heaven just in my mind?

Heaven is in her arms
But it’s hell without you here

the family room is cozier
the couch is comfier
the tv is better
the floor is nicer
the lights are better

the walls are cold
the fireplace unused
and your photographs are gone

i miss you starting the fire
and adding cinnamon sticks to it
i miss you curling up on the couch
and watching movies
i miss you sitting at the bottom of the fireplace
and singing through laughter

the living room is colder
the walls are grey
and the burgundy is gone
the rug you picked out
is rolled up and in the garage
the storage unit you got from your mom
is upstairs
and used for something else
the piano is still there
but the family photos above it are not
i don't hear you play the piano at parties
or sit on the couch with your novels

the kitchen
the kitchen makes me saddest
your blue walls aggressively changed to brown
your coffee clock no longer works properly
your engraved kitchen sign was taken down
your organized cupboards are messy
the oven is different
the bread maker is in storage
your recipes have been moved
the radio is fuzzy
your CDs have an inch of dust
the table is stained
and i no longer see you at the table
with your cup of coffee and morning paper
i no longer see you cooking
or cleaning
or singing

the dining room
no longer has your candles
or has seen your beautifully decorated cakes
it no longer smells like your amazing food
your decorations have been taken down
and it no longer brings me happiness

i no longer see my mom
and this house was once hers
this house may be renovated for improvements
but now your marks have been covered and erased

i miss you
your presence
your laugh
your smile

you were here once
but now you are gone
we will all be here just once
and we think we have time
but we don't
you left too soon
but i know you are eternally happy now

this house was my home
and now it is a structure
with new items
you took home
you are my home
and i cannot wait to be home again

Sometimes i look up at the sky
and wonder  if a piece of it
is the deep blue of my eye

a pledge promised to Earth
They'll  take me back, there's no need
for 'goodbye'

i wonder what the dead are doing
i wonder if they can hear my thoughts
Do the clouds swallow it up like sun
or does it drift above my head?

Are the stars, stars?
or fractions of soul
shining through the gaps
to lighten my way

at night, Angels put up show
us humans call it  'dreaming'
Is that the image of Heaven
or my own imagination?
It could be the very real creation

i wonder what the dead are doing
i wonder if they even know
they're dead.

When I wake, and when I dream,
A weary heart, a moonlit beam,
Meet in silver waters gleam,
And float along the river stream.

A shooting star in darkened days,
Streaks the sky, turns my gaze,
The heavens in a moments praise
Release me from my doldrum daze.

Unchained chimes, of life they sing,
To silence my despondency,
As brazen bells in phantom swing,
Set my wounded shadow free.

For blackened skies of prolonged nights,
See to the rise of morning lights,
Dried eyes when tears had blurred their sights,
Apprise my souls potential heights.

For when I wake and in my dreams...
I thought it fake--although it seems,
I cannot dull what brightly beams,
A troubled past more time redeems.