it was then that i saw you were gone
that i let you slip through my fingers like sand
and that same sand collected at the bottom of the hour glass
i became mesmerized
obsessed
when would the glass be filled with the gritty substance so i can flip you over
and we can go back to square one
like the strangers we are
and the sand keeps dripping until you come again
because i can pretend that i know you
and that our souls are somehow synced up
but when it's all said and done
and i lie alone on a Friday night
wondering why you haven't materialized in front of my eyes
i know there will be no more visits by my ruin
my ruin
the one who can do no wrong in my eyes
but will leave me with bumps and bruises and aches
my ruin
who left one day and never came back
whose presence was not felt in four months
until now
i haven't felt you calling
since September
something is reaching out to me
calling you to my attention
you need me
or you want to believe you do

I was never
A demanding man
Or a smothering being.
I was never
A shameful soul
Or a jealous person.

...that is, until us.

I was never
Your ruler
Or the breeze that took
Your breath away.
I was never
Some cruel cur
And I was never
The one to question
Who you were with
Or where you were.

Love brings out the best
In a few of us
And it makes a huge mess
Of the rest of us.
I was never the one
To pick up a gun
And put holes in the heart
I had promised to love.

I have gone on days
Stumbling down alleyways
Rummaging the ground to find
Any footprints you have left behind
To illuminate this path I've taken
And ease the pain of a love forsaken

Unwillingly,
I will spend the rest of my life
looking for something that cannot me found.

The way you never cease to smile,
the way your nose wrinkles when you're confused,
or the way you grip my hair when you
fold me into your arms,
and laugh to hard,
and get too close for comfort,
and manage to brighten a room
without doing a thing,
and never understanding the use of a semi-colon.
Or, how you could never seem
to write your sentences correctly
and end up rambling on and on
until I can hear your thoughts through cold lips.

Can I just say,
I will spend the rest of my life,
hoping to find another you.

The Big Dipper
Dripped starlight
Into the silent
Dark pines.

Orion shot his
Arrow right on
Target into my
Cracked heart.

The Milky Way
Ceased to run its course
And instead
Spilled your name into the sky.

And still, the North Star
Kept on sparkling
Reminding me of
A stability like yours.

It was cloudless and
Moonless and the
Meteor showers were over
But not the hole in my chest.

The only hope I
Had left was that
Somewhere in the world
You saw the same stars.

Its 12 am
And I'm dreaming of your eyes
How I wish they were peering into mine
Instead I'm peering into an empty bottle of *****
Wondering when things got so bad
Where did I go wrong
I blame myself
I wish you would miss me
Like I miss you
I wish you were still around
So our bodies can tangle and twist
An wind into a mess
of lost love

Echoing thoughts

Silence between us

And gravity never felt heavier,

I said words that cracked the silence like lightning

and crashed into some of hers

She never spoke after,

Well not full sentences, slight words and mumbles

Perfection like sleep always seems to elude me

We stayed up,

We stood still, with echoing thoughts in our mind of what we should of said.

The lines on her face narrates,

How are you going to lose interest when I just got used to you?

How are you going to lose interest when I just got used to you.

How are you going to lose interest when I just got used to you...

I must resist the urge
To erase every word
I ever wrote of you,
For they bring me pain;
I must remind myself now
As I reread those lines
Of hope, of love, of loss
That they tell a story of
What could've been and
What was never meant to be.
I shall hold onto those lines
For they serve as a record
Of what I am better off
Leaving behind as I go on
And what I am searching for
On this new path that I begin.