someday my kids will ask me
“what happened in the year 2020?”

what didn’t happen?
2020 wasn’t a year
it was a war
a war between society
and mother nature herself
it was chaos
it was a pandemonium
it was when fires grew
higher than trees
burning homes and the lives in them
killing the ones that fought
against it
it was when the bryant
family dreams were crushed
a girl that would never
play basketball again
and a father that would
never get to cheer her
on from the sidelines
or watch her persuade the same
career he did
both never getting to see the light of day again
it was when a man couldn’t breathe
because the same people that are
supposed to save us
also killed one of us
they were white
he was black
making moms scared for
their kids lives
if they decide they ever
wanna become an officer
it was the year a legend died
while making kids think it’s cool to
do drugs
but not warning them about it
until it was connected to his
name on the headlines across
the usa
it was the year riots happened
instead of protests
where people got mad over the death of blacks
but put themselves at risk
not caring about the color of their own skin
thinking it would
make a difference in the
world if we got
rid of those who
serve us during shootings
rapes
murders
robberies and ensure our safety
it was when our president failed to
keep us safe
causing a pandemic
and deaths of families members
and emitting fear in people of all ages
it was the year he also thought it was right
to rip kids from their families
due to the ethnicity they were born with
thinking that it would be a positive thing
to give families trauma and fear for
the rest of their lives
it was when people thought
that letting a pregnant elephant
eat a pineapple that they rigged with
firecrackers would be
okay to do
cause that’s just a “normal” thing
not killing one animal but two
and the hope of many
to stop animal cruelty
the year the world got diagnosed
with depression
because people would
rather risk the lives of their families and selves
to do something without a mask
when kids started to hate their parents
for trying to keep them and themselves safe
and when our jobs became a source of little payment


but that’s not all that happened
it was also the year that
biden became president
putting us out
of our misery and
preventing further damage to
our would and society
they year baking and cooking
became a thing
for people of all ages
bringing kids and
parents together
its the year that people
came together
to make masks
and make sure that
others stay healthy and safe
the year that people realized
how hard and
scary it is to be black
and that you can
be doing nothing
but still have to be aware of cops
and not looking
dangerous or suspicious
its the year that kids who
wanted pets got them
even when their parents
said not in a million years
the year kids got creative
making viral videos
and doing great things
its the year that crayola
launched a new box of crayons
with diverse
skin colors for children
to "accurately color
themselves into the world."
its the year that we learned that
homeschooling is harder than it looks
and finally appreciated our teachers
for all the things
they do and deal
with on a daily basis
while getting paid so little
the year that we came
up with creative things to do with
our friends and family
outside and on zoom
the year we got to make so
many memes and tik toks
about covid that
the rest of the world finds relatable
and funny as well
it was the year we got to see
into the lives of celebrities and
show host while they
give us news and their kids
dance in the backgrounds of
the screen
it’s the year of a lot of deals and
free things because
who doesn’t like making people
smile over the little things
the year we all finally got to
catch up on our favorite tv shows
and spend time
alone and/or with our kids
being able to pick up and finish that book
everyone raves about
and getting up late because
you don’t have much
to deal with
the year the good games
came out and the best shows
became available
the year we all saved money
from not having to drive so much
and by the things we would need if we were living
life normally
and the year that we will get to tell
the best and most unbelievable and dramatic stories
about when your kids have kids, when we have kids,
or just to brag to people about in the future
its the year covid became scarier
than being grounded by
dad for getting a c+ in school
or mom getting mad at you for argue
back even though you didn’t
it was the year everything fell apart
only to bring us together to bring everything together
the year that the worst became the good
the year that no one else will witness and
experience than the ones
that lived through 2020

Over half a century served now,
Two kids
Two weddings
And one heart attack,
A life chequered with
Equal good and dark and downright bad,
Joy brought to some
Yet to others pain,
So I wonder now,
Can two rights
Overcome one wrong?

Yes I have done my part,
Brought some to faith,
Helped more to a better
More empowered life,
Loved and been loved
And yet always it seems
Lifting others to fly
Like eager doves
To greater things,
Greater lives,
Better loves and more,

Yet still I wonder,
Can two rights correct
One wrong?
Can even I be saved,
Is salvation there for
Even one such as I?
I have been called
An angel,
Even offered wings to
Others comfort
And encouragement,
Yet I so feel that darker side,
That darker things has done,

And so as this journey
Draws to its conclusion
I find myself drawing in
To myself yet still
Extended,
(Over so in fact) to the wellbeing of these others,
Still there for them and yet
At heart and
In the dark
I am alone aside
From the judgement

Of unelected disdainful
Self-righteous prigs
Yet here I am,
Up to my **** in alligators
Yet still trying to drain
Other people's swamps,
Still bailing while
Dodging the bites and
Still quiet,
Still alone,
In the dark,
As the coffin lid,
Slides home.

“It hurts,”
she says.
As she struggles to stand in the morning, because her heart is so heavy with pain she feels she will never heal.
“It’s heavy,”
she cries.
As she tries desperately to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders by herself, because she has no one to turn to.
“It’s hard,”
she whispers.
As the last of her hope crawls out of her body leaving a lifeless shape of a woman that they once knew.

War is warning of chaos if the dragon is slain,
whathe-el, yes,
god, yes,

we have a myth for for this, for now,
a metaphor, aforethought, it is
that Promethean redemption,
aha, the sun goes down,
let the healing begin,

this is a classic,
not every inspiring thing has origins in a book.
Word, gramma say, way back,

-- reminds me, I put gas in the Prius today,
as I walked in to buy some papers,
in the little store where the
**** bays was, back when I first heard
Johnny Cash, thinking' he was some kinda
man in black, from assorted darkness legends,
I hear him singin'
I fell in to a burnin' rang o' fire, went
down
down,
the flames shot higher…

I was about seven… **** bays was where
hot-rodders and cruisers hung out,
if you grew up on a paved road
to California and Nevada,
at a junction in time and space,
~ 150-170 miles south of all the tests,
same winds that brang rain t' St. George…

The moment, the music, a crossover hit,
hallelujah,
like
-- reminds me,
as I walked in to buy some papers,
in the little store where the
young Chaldean manning the store hears me,
as I -- say, ******* HAHA, as I re-cogitate the first
bars of I walk the line, then I see the
guy behind the sneeze, wall agree,
I love this music, we both say,
and he goes on to say,
I wonder what it was like to be alive
when he was alive…
I swipe my card and say, it was like
being alive when I was alive.
like
-- reminds me,
mark that fact - you spoke to an old man
buying papers, this is the future,
did you never read of the last being first?
the boy bade me have a nice day.
So I did.

Being soft heart is not my weakness
But i found that,
Your hard heart makes you emotionless.
Today you are far away for me,
By your hard heart.
I know you may be restless,
Without you me too soulless,
By my soft heart.
I want to forgot you nd move forward
But your beautiful memories pushes me backward
what will i do with a soft heart
That makes me soulless without you.
And;
What will you do with your hard heart
That makes you restless without me.
"BEING SOFT HEART
IN A CRUEL WORLD IS
COURAGE
NOT WEAKNESS."

"That outfit doesn't suit you" says the impeccably dressed
"Your back is breaking out" says the clear skinned
"You are actually really really dumb" says the complex thinker
"****, those teeth are yellow, you should brush more" says the one who does
"What **** chat, you're not clever" says the quick witted
"Look at those chicken legs!" says the one who squats
"Why can't you manage your emotions?" asks the one who's matured
"Stop watching **** and get a girlfriend" says the one who has a girlfriend
"Clean your ******* room" says the one from his organized bedroom
"Stop smoking, it's not healthy" says the one who doesn't need to
"You have to stop skipping meals" says the one who isn't nauseous
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it isn't attractive" says the happy one
"You're not a bad person" says the good one
"Let people love you, but also let them not love you too" says the brave one
"You've got to stop procrastinating" says the one on time
"Write things down, make good habits" that one remembers
"You shouldn't hate yourself, forgive and grow" this one I like least
"You are really awfully dumb" this one repeats himself the most
"You're so dull" says the one who isn't
"I hate you" says the one who tells the truth
"You could be what ever you want if you stopped listening to all of us" says the one who I barely hear
"We're not us, we're you" says the one who's truth is the hardest to hear

His knuckles were knots.
Round, tight bunches,
Tied roughly, taught
By the lessons of men;
Who seem only to brutalize
The beauty of the body.

His heart was chiseled.
Stone in the stead of flesh,
Fixed to a function. Grounded,
Not in hope, but the kiln’s capture.
Heat, the blistering rage, resolved
In all the hand’s heartless work.

His mind was not his. Home;
A house of helplessness. Now,
The mental mutiny made know.
Year's of yearning for youth, only
To forfeit all faith of the future,
In exchange for hard truth.