All in due time please,

we eat the soup and the flies --


but not in one bite.

Sometimes I think: Aye!

I will tell you right away! --


And then it is still.

When you drown in
an endless ocean of whisky,
you'll miss the taste of life's waters
  as your mind floats above the
ravaging tide of addiction
  and you constantly begging
for the flow to calm

You'll realize that the slowest of recovery
   is better than the fastest one who can chug


Someone out there is either dying for alcohol
or dying from an alcohol addiction,

I won't judge you
on what your heart is looking for
but the drink that's been on your hand
for too long
ain't Jesus in a bottle

It will pass.

How desperate we are
to maintain our habits,
   we often trade parts of ourselves
just to feel that rush
whenever we sober up
and latch on to that feeling
up to the very end.

The other lung
for a pack of cigarettes,
that spare kidney
for case of beer
and the worst one
trading a trusted friend
for a gram,
Alas at the end of the day
no matter how much earthly treasure you possess in this world of trades,
  you can never bargain the time
that is lost
and another chance for everything
  to change

A young disciple of discipline is just,
trying to dissipate negative traits.
Hesitations of change are often in frame
but most balloons don't fly straight.
Instead there's the choice of multiple fates,
played upon through invisible games.
Who is listening, we're nowhere near finished yet, when the drifter remains in stages to claim.

Draw upon those who have taught you before, are these new lessons or echoes restored in repetition.
Persistent tricks formed from stubborn habits, hidden in-kind to the back of our brains, where a complete disregard is often retained.
Try observing yourself through the eyes of others, are you sure we're the same when shuffling states.

there is a point of no return;
unthinkingly dismissed
a line crossed;
bringing
instant regret
each
    and
           every
                   decision
up until that moment;
questioned
lamented
rued

i have just crossed
that threshold

the hangnail was bitten
and pulled
until flesh was torn
and blood ran
now there is nothing
but discomfort

knowing full well
what i was doing;
there is no excuse for such idiocy

the anguish
that never leaves my heart

bites my nails
and pulls my hair out

this anguish
one day might **** me

but maybe
just maybe

it already did it

Old habits never die
They just stay in the shadows and hide
They lurk and linger beneath the surface of your mind
Waiting for the perfect moment to strike
Slowly creeping out when they feel it's time

Old habits never fade
They just trick you into thinking they've shrunk away
One night they're gone, then they surprise you the next day
"Remember us? We've come out to play."
Because old habits always stay

A reminder, a memory, a haunting a curse
Reciting all the things you've learnt
Retracing the steps you thought you forgot
A well rehearsed line, a feeling that doesn't subside
A vice that only grows tighter over time
Because old habits never die.

It should be illegal, like A dangerous drug,
A constant teacher, of unbelievable junk,
Children, to adults, are totally hypnotized,
Falling over, on the couch, until totally drunk.

Personal imagination, slowly fades,
Separating, entertainment & fantasy, is dead
The talent of thinking, begins to decay,
Remembering, very little inside, A numb head.

The number one baby sitter, from children, to adults,
Where most learn, bad habits, they act and believe,
From A baby, to eighty years, watch four hours a day,
Around thirteen years, of A life, all the cost, and fees,
So much more would be accomplished, without TV’s.


                                                                          Tom Maxwell ©
                                                                               3/30/2019 AD
                                                                                 11:15 AM