the last time you held my hand was a decade ago
for a long time afterwards, life was at an all time low
but i recovered and i healed
because i learned that when life throws you a curveball, it doesn't mean your fate is sealed
i lost you and it hurt
your love for me should have been natural, like in the morning when one puts on a shirt
so yah i'm in pain staring at you now, as the tears roll down my face
i now rest my case
reality has set in, i'm no longer angry at you for leaving
i'm just sad that you decided to go, and that i have to live without you and i'm reminded of that through my breathing

My grandma always told me that bad stuff comes in threes
It has always stuck with me and know I except more difficult things
I never realized how sad it was until I got older
It never seemed to fail me
When she passed, I failed 5th grade, and my cat died.
When I ran away, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I lost a house.
When my uncle died, I had to see my dad, and my mom had financial issues.
Life is a cruel game and you can never beat it

Brittle and crackling
bones that snap and pop
your older now
popping
snapping
breaking
someday you go
when time is okay
those bones dust away
slipping into the unknown

I thank God for another year of life, for keeping you here longer each day.

I remember as a child I would pray my heart out to keep you safe forever, “God don’t take her away from me,” I’d say.

You told me at age 50 you prayed the same “God keep me alive till she’s grown,” you’d say.

28 years later and he hasn’t let us down.

It hasn’t been the easiest of years but God please forgive me of my sins.

Not today she’d say, not today.

I wish I knew how you spend your days,
singing and dancing in glorious praise.
Do angels soar through golden gates?
Do heaven’s sunsets shine like the lake’s?
Do you walk hand in hand with your life-long love?
Do you feel the warmth of your mother’s hug?
As time goes on I miss you still, I believe I always will.
So I’ll wait for my time, who knows when,
maybe you can tell me then.

I am from ***** Farmer candies
From old roller skates,
and falling apart jump ropes
From making up games,
rather than them being handed over.

I am from having to go to the neighbors house for the TV,
And from not getting one until 7th grade.
From the Milton Berle talk show,
that aired in the 50's.
From American Drama series,
such as Fireside Theatre starring Gene Raymond.
And from brunette Elizabeth Taylor,
and The Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

I am from “Waste not, want not,”
and “A penny saved is a penny earned.”
I am from Laura Lee Hope and the Bobbsey Twins.
From longing to be a nurse and becoming one.

In my heart, and 27 years in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
those moments are kept,
Those memories may not seem very valuable,
but to me they are everything.

My grandmother gifted me a jar of buttons when I was little.
There were so many inside the jar that it was impossible she collected them by accident; impossible that she had collected them for the purpose of sewing old clothing back together.
Her button jar serves as a reminder to me, a reminder of how perfect she was that she never needed them to mend old shirts she had torn,
because she was too perfect to have torn any in the first place.
I wonder if she gave them to me on purpose, or on accident.
If she had given them to me as a keepsake of her, to show all she had collected,
Or as a precaution, because she knew I was going to need to mend so much of my future.

I have retired,
long ago, from my duties
my wonderful job
That has made me millions.

You best think twice
before you speak arrogantly of me.
Know, when you undermine me
Next to others among,
That I have made millions.

I’ve fed mouths
Raised beautiful souls,
Scrubbed till my skin cracked,
Squatted till my bones ached,
Cooked art till my heart was content but,
I have no right to complain
I never look back on my life with shame,
because I have made millions.

I arose at the glint of the sunrise
Filled my ears with the bellowing
Of vendors and their creaking carts
Sacrificed my sleep
To sustain my job
because my efforts are worth millions.  

I was dedicated,
Worked hard for my family,
my tendrils of hair askew
I continued my work
Masked my emotions,
Even when I was feeling blue
all because I was too busy making millions.

I kept my “office” ***** and span
Invented my own tips and tricks
since I was passionate
about making millions.

I wonder if you think I am worthless but
I simply sit back and smile because
I tell myself
I was a queen in my line of work
I didn’t just make beds,
I made wonderful souls
It never required money
I never had to get paid  

Now,
The thin wrinkles on my hand
Remind me that
I am more than satisfied,


Because I know
I’ve made millions.