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Lonely days feel like empty hearts,
I want to be like you,
Silver spoon handed to you, while i have to be the scrubby loon.
Why are hearts shattered like broken glass pieces, but when hearts are broken like glass pieces the worst part of it is to be looking through it as if a mirror reflects your broken soul.
I want to live like you, to have what you got but every time i try and try to be like you, i fail.
I" am who i am but that fails too.
Who am i, i don't quite understand.
Happy life, saddened by night.
Tired, crying tears of agony, hurt soul for two.
But i'll never be like you.
But i learned that's ok
Because even though you have it all,
I got more to my heart than what yours may say
I am free
I have love
But most of all, i got my man who means more to me than you.
oh....
and my bike black beauty, who shines so bright i can finally see the light and know...i don't want to be like you.
I want to be me, this is who i am.
And for that i forgive you.
I used to wish i could be like someone else who had it all, until i realized myself that my man and my little family and motorcycle is all i need with the love that surrounds me.
Thank you.
Bhill Jun 2020
gaze into the glass
self-reflection is needed
what is it you sense

Brian Hill - 2020 # 161
What will you see?
Ayn Jun 2020
Ice
Slipping on the ice,
And crashing through the glass.

Floating shards
Hovering in prismatic wonder,
Lighting my darkened mind
Like the thousand stars
Guiding me to
My long lost dreams.
Is it on purpose that one of the corners is still left in the dark? ;)
My interpretation of how love CAN work. A withering rejection that flowers into something beautiful. emphasis on can.
Aus May 2020
I talked to my therapist today
for the 7th time
it was like the 2nd, 4th, and 5th times
where I felt and listened and talked and explained and felt
but it wasn’t like the 1st, 3rd, or 6th times
because I didn’t feel better
The 7th time was like the 7th time
It matched the circular stencil I trace
when I try to fix myself in my head
I was me during the 7th time
But something
had turned my volume down

The other times I wore a smile hard enough to make her think I’m kind and interesting  and okay like I do with everyone
This time though, I was being held by my brain like an ant in a glass box
And the heavy invisible walls of the glass box are like my emotions that make it harder to breathe sometimes
and I repeated a lot of what we discussed during the 1st, 3rd, and 6th times
not because I wanted or needed to talk about it again
but because it pokes a finger in that spot between my shoulder blades and whispers to me all of the things I want to change about myself
and so on the 7th time, i used my vocal cords to let those words out
so maybe they’d be a little quieter

These whisper words are the things I didn’t know about me until I turned 13 or 14
and I started to become a whole person
The whisper things are those small strips of adhesive in between the big pieces that make a whole person
like the parts of a special coffee mug that
was broken and got glued together, but will probably never really hold coffee again
it may look good on a shelf
or bring back a fond memory
when you see it tucked away in the cabinet
But it won’t ever function
the way it was crafted to
Because something broke it
And used cheap glue to put it back together

But this was only the 7th time
And I’m hoping
that by the 8th time, I can tell the ant to leave the glass.
I want to tell my breath to come and go as it pleases
And tell my back not to hurt
because it is a good back
and my lungs are good lungs.
And that voice that whispers
It isn’t my voice
But is the voice of broken coffee mugs.

Maybe I will believe it after the 8th time.
Does it even matter anymore?
                To put together a broken ceramic.
                               It's Art they say; but few understand.

                Does it even matter anymore?
                               To put on garments around my feets
                                              That are used to the shards.
archived Feb 2020
Rishawn May 2020
Broken
Shattered
Spirt is tattered
and I cant stand eat or breath
this world, sometimes, I just want relief
Im sad
Im hurt
im afraid

my face is soaked
its raining inside
im laughing bc its my eyes that are lying
im bleeding tears

i was happy and then it hit
now im falling into a pit
who do i ask when there is no one to tell
Oh i feel so unwell

Help me please im begging please
take away the unease
i have people to please

there is light all around and i can see it
Im near it
I feel it
i want it
but i cant reach it

its not mine today, today i am pain
tomorrow i may be me or i am be someone new
im unsure who pain will make me
i just know, what people will see, will be un true

I need you and i dont know who you are
but me, i cant do this alone
im scared, im afraid
im pain
im mundane
Bus Poet Stop May 2020
“for when the mind has no solution to the rough and tumbling lives,
lived in glass shackled confinement, the poet’s desperation equals theirs”

The Bus Poet Stop “The Glass Shackles” ^

                                              <|>

~this one for Eliot York, who gave us a great gift - opportunity~

                                               §§§

The mandated city buses are largely denuded of passengers,
so the drivers, peruse the enriched, enforced silenced life of the
streetscape, and as they pass, call-out a fisherman’s plaintive wailing,
“here we are, where are you, do we exist?” Too few nibble “I am!”

Bus Poet Stops, stumbles on an older writ, now seemingly prophetic,
once again, he is back, living in a glass shackled confinement,
his 16th floor perch, besmirched, the mirthless empty outside well matched by the isolation inside him, a new kind of shackling bereft.

For these glass shackles are not new, but different, the glass is poorly blown, cloudy, pockmarked with air bubbles entrapped, useless
for fresh breathing, many containing a question mark, some ask
what, others when/where shelter, all, harsh pleading tones, why me?

“For when the mind has no solution” poet wrote in twenty eighteen,
unaware that this predictive value would return to rent & render mean,
his composure, no longer a savior, now he weeps copiously for thee,
those that he, in prior life, came to save, now too, another faceless face.

no, no!

Your writing saves self, and a thousand more, you infiltrate, penetrate     our conjoined quiet, giving name to each of our unsalted tears, no fear poems that make us say, Merry, Merry to us all; God bless us, every one! Bus Poet head-hung, shamed, pained, looks away, mask-covers-gratitude.

Rough and tumbling times, we discount ourselves blameless, but voices
say time for gifting varietals of solace mysterious, this! is your business!
words, instruct to touch, to transport us on a poet’s bus to Delirious,
enable arrival+survival to destiny’s destination, “for all, a good night!”
^ https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2575579/the-glass-shackles/

Fri May 1
twenty twenty

in anno autem coronavirus plaga
3:00pm
from NYC, the. epicenter
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