Initially,
Her thought was a positive one,
And my memory sharpened,
So much that I still remember,
The first time she doublecrossed,
So like kids I had wept for her,
And an older friend Madhur,
His shoulder was my tear pillow.

Madhur had said, "If she made you cry now, how can she be your fabled truest lover, your soulmate?"

I remember how she had argued,
That I never cared enough for her,
But all my time was just for herself,
I so resent her for ever forgetting it,
How she revised her 10th with me,
I gifted her self-belief back then,
I know now she silences me.

I remember how I fixed a deal,
We sold the Bengaluru property,
For it our family had flown there,
But I remember how she was misled,
2013 was marred by an old terror,
My old phobia of getting ditched,
She forgot I got it sold for her.

2014 was a bit happier for me,
But I had wrongfully let her be,
I gave her immature self the key,
That key to my utmost happiness,
To behave like that I was foolish,
She was happy having my time,
Did I ever look at another girl?

I remember when my dad was ill,
He was admitted to the hospital,
In '15 winters it was exam time,
She had 'gain swayed off of me,
Young girl presented a Catch-22,
Choose from my thirst or thy dad,
I chose dedicatedly serving my dad.

I still try to woo her back in vain,
For I know she is a bullet astray,
Shot into the period by her age,
Social bounds are now a cage,
Like a Catty she pounces upon,
She surfs upon an internet tide,
And thinks that she is up to date.

Now I feel so tired of trying,
But I will try once again,
I will go to her house,
Once more I will go,
My course ends soon,
Now I just have to gain,
For there is nothing to lose.

Even our newer bigger home,
In Karnal comes to completion,
Opportunities are many in here,
Researching life I am indulged in,
Now is the time for me to watch,
Plan, act & watch the outcome,
I see joy is 'round the corner.

My happiness is in my own hand,
The pursuit of it is not so bland,
It is the most full of challenge,
No time to lose in indulgence,
It's now when I must perform,
The pursuit approaches an end,
My joy is in making destiny bend.

She will be even more beautiful,
Heavier will be her eyelids,
Eager will be men for her body.

Would she even miss me,
I** am not aware about it,
Longer this time spent,
Lot she will try to forget.

Ringing bells of her heart,
Every time she will bathe,
Pouring water from the shower,
Early tears will get veiled,
No memories get subsided,
Time spent she will recall.

In these youth that only ditch,
There is a thread loosely stitch,
They gave a name for the glitch.

They just feel so entangled,
If I could satiate the deranged,
I would have felt happier & loved.

Not in the slightest her fault,
The fault is in my safety vault,
I can't protect it by adding salt.

She had her personality affected,
On the borderline of love she was,
She might get better when matured.

So I will wait for her to grow up,
Because mangoes are sour unripe,
So she might not repent her flurry.

Even though she is upset now,
I should patiently wait for her,
Us both together, life be wow!

She suffers a borderline personality disorder,
And I suffer its deranged consequences,
But I have not given up yet on her.