I marveled at the stitches
Held your hand, grip tight like the taut strings carefully unraveled
Clockwork, I tended to the wounds
paler lit just by the moon
Heartwork, I kissed the scars

I numbly focus on the void
Unaided and desensitized to the ceaseless ache
Clockwork, you neglect me till I anticipate I will break
a hollow space carved into my chest darkens day by day
Heartwork, you actively exhibit my unimportance to you

I marveled at the stitches
Silk securing skin, uncertainty in the cell structure’s very safety
Clockwork, you asked for me to tend to the wounds
paler lit just by the moon
Heartwork, you smiled when I kissed the scars

TikTok is pure trash
Except for the girls and gays
All of them are lit

a bluely shimmering stone, for you
well stored memories are floating beneath us
find me all the years we spent together

we are not young, we are not old, baby
the time we've shared will never stop
trust me as you trust your inner child

we are entering a new stratosphere
red frost, blue lagoons, tamed sharks
nothing can ever stop us, my lady

clouds made of golden dust, your face
freeze the day, keep it inside a pearl
we are there for each other like siblings

i love the way your cheeks lift when you smile
when your eyes start to disappear
and your dimples peek out to join the excitement.

i love the way your laugh floats lightly in the air
a little giggle sometimes, sweet and soft
making my heart swing to the melody.

i love the way your lips move when you ask me, “can i kiss you?”
and i love the way they feel when you do.

i love the way you fill up silence with a song of “mm mm mmm” when you don’t know what to say,
or when you dance after a compliment because you don’t know how else to release the “ahhhh!” that is growing restless inside of you.

most importantly,

i love the way that you make me feel safe
and respected
and beautiful
and understood.

and i really,
really,
love the way,
that you love me.

Growing, Feeling, Dreaming.
These are activities I used to do.
Growing up, Feeling emotions, Dreaming of the future.
Before I discovered I was gay.

My experience has growth, growing towards the sun,
Growing towards a box, that I could fit in.
Feeling feelings and shutting them away.
I can’t be gay.

I used to dream of great things,
Changing the world and helping people out,
But I am riddled with self-hatred,
And can’t escape, for I am a product of pressured hate.

I feel like a sunflower, Growing in the summer.
I am admired from up close but not given another look when moved on.
Sometimes I feel as though I have come to my fall,
To rid my seeds and go to sleep.

Withstand the pressure or crumble to a system,
A system of unvalued lives,
Open your eyes and see the truth,
Your gay friends are on the news.
Not as heroes or as villains but,
As stereotypes and hidden additions.

I don’t see myself, I do not see in third person,
I breathe and feel and exist as I am,
Not as a side character and not as an omission,
I am myself, and that is the mission.

the princess locked herself away
behind tall walls of grey
so no one could see her die inside
and she can hide behind her pride

the dashing rogue saw these walls
she wanted to explore its halls
she wanted to see every inch
and find out why she's so quick to flinch

the rogue found an ornate gate
but saw the lock and had to wait
but she's impatient to see her free
so she set out to find the key

she travelled far and wide
to where the dragon resides
at the top of the highest mountains
surrounded by deadly lava fountains

the golden key dangled from its neck
beneath wicked teeth that kept you in check
but the rogue devised a cunning plan
to get the key as quick as she can

with clever words, she tricked the dragon
to give the key without any nagging
so back down the mountain, she walked
to match the key with the lock.

soft as morning light,
fingers travel for miles
across earths of skin