Forget me not
   Forget me not
I’ve heard something whisper that into my heart.
              I have.       I    remember
promising to...        
But I don’t even know what address to send my apology  
Maybe I used to.
Maybe it was something I treasured.
A weathered forever now leftover wants to remember .
        Something

Life is
Time sitting
Stale on the back of the tongue

A lot of it is not worth tasting
Like when a girl says she doesn’t
Love you like you love her
Or that she has your baby
And its only been a few months

It’s stale on the tongue

Why taste bitterness
When you can taste nothing
At all?
What’s the point
Of flailing in the void
Paroxysm on the floor
Of the pit
As opposed to passing
Through the afternoon air
Like a shadow in summer:

Stale on the tongue
Easy in the mind
Numb like a
Curled autumn leaf in
The swirling winds of autumn

There was a place where children goes.
To have fun while learning, for their future so.
Four walls, a roof, and a person in-charge.
With the board and a chalk, a new class is starts.

Half of the day is for learning new things.
And the rest is for them to decide.
The night still part of the learning.
Doing homework and projects, and then I became tired.

Every day I need to wake up early.
Prepare myself as for school is in the morning.
Sleepy as I want, I can't help but to get going.
For I am, and I should, go to school whether I like it or not.

First grade, Second grade, each year, new class.
New topics, new classmates, how am I suppose to catch up?
A year is not enough, yet they forcing me to learn.
For they are elders, and they know what is the best for me.
Failure is disappointment.

Third grade, fourth grade, and the following grades.
Each time grade I step is another year of punishment.
I don't like it, I hate it, this is not learning.
All they do is to force me to learn things I don't want.

If there's something I don't understand.
They ignore me and go on with the class.
Test coming up, I got a failure grade.
They blame me for I can't understand.

Why? Why? I'm trying to learn all those things.
But if there's anything I don't unerstand, everyone ignores me.
How? How? How could I learn what you're teaching?
Everyone keeps ignoring me, how would I supposed to learn?

Year after year, the fun of learning disappears.
Yet they all act like it is a fun thing to do.
What am I supposed to do if I am treated like an idiot?
Everything they taught, I don't understand a thing.

Bullied, ignored, punished for unable to learn.
School isn't fun, that's what I know.
Forced to learn, forced to follow.
I see no difference than that being a prison.

School is scary, I don't want to go there anymore.
My room, my room is the place where I belong.
I don't care whatever people tell me about the school.
It's all lies, I'll better of dead than going back there.

Even if my parents gets mad at me.
Even people hates me.
Even if the whole world is againts me.
I will never, ever go back there.
Never.
For the rest of my life.
Never.
Even if they hurt me.
Never.
Even if they convice me.
Never.
Whatever the will tell to me.
Never.
I don't want to go there.
I don't want to see it either.
I wish that school doesn't exist.
It is a scary place.
I will never ever go there anymore.
Never.
Never.

If I am to drown,
I hope to march headfirst
into the sea, disappearing
under the waves in a lure of
golden fish scales,
crushed to the bottom
by bullet-shaped weights.

I want a death by mystery,
to wash ashore one April morning,
bloated & violet, fingernails stained
with yellow seaweed.

I was once rainwater clutched in
the milk-white teeth of a crashing wave,
black storm clouds crackling with
lightning bolts of who I was and
who I could never be.

I wake with seawater in my mouth,
a cruel simulacrum of
living water, staining my lips & neck
in the color of overripe plums.

I am water immobile,
molecules frozen in crystalline figures,
waiting for the warmth of choice, of
knowing that my fate can be more than
dead at twenty-seven to thaw my
aching limbs.

So many words
In the English language
But still not enough for you
Which words could I choose?
Gah, none of them could be enough
It just feels like stupid fluff
Maybe just for now
"I love you"
Will do.

Ring the bell
A teller steps up to the counter
"How may I help you today?"
Well
You could calm my doubts
You could ease my worries
You could tell me why
I feel always in a hurry
You could explain,
Why I hate my own name
You could give me a mirror,
That shows me who I really am
Or......

If you could, please, just direct me to the isle with the discounted ham.

What does one write when the feeling flows through them
But the words keep getting sifted out?

A blank canvas
Is a blank canvas
Is a blank canvas

It's hard to write something that
Really means anything
It sounds cliche
Because it is

"Buy into my creative work
Because I lack the creativity
To make it genuine"

But really
Sometimes I feel the current of
Violence
Creativity
Passion
Rip through me
Just under the skin and
I can't find the words that can make it
Mean something to anyone else

So here is to all the unwritten words
Hidden grins and
Bitten tongues
For those that feel the wave
But can't figure out
How to ride it.

Yeah, it can get rough sometimes
But one day
You'll learn to **** on
Your own stings
And you'll swim uninterrupted

dream of me as I dreamt of you
let my image float through your sight
I, the star commands it to be
you cannot escape my might
please do not think of me badly
do I not also deserve love?
you are bound to me
as I decree
the star, her lover, the night?

i’ve been sewing love into daisy chains
and i’m willing you to pull off each petal
ask them
and they will spell

/s
  h
     e

        l
       o
     v
   e
s

    m
       e\

in your palm
its a love letter written in botany
this is how i love you in spring
the same way the sun sends rays of gold
hurtling to the earth
to me
this is how i love you in spring
the same way the ocean hosts voyagers
you hold me
this is how i love you in spring
with each intake of air
with each new blossom, the bluebird that lives in my chest grows
and its funny
i never saw the beauty in the world
not like this
i never saw the earth glow
with such intensity
heard it hum
until i was able to watch flowers bloom
in the reflection cast in your eyes
that is a beauty i will never fully articulate
and
this
this is how i love you in spring