you are not the thorns
that leave your lovers
bleeding.
you are not the
sunflowers growing
in your head.
you are everything in between.
you are everything all at once.

the gallon of arizona green tea that you only drank a fraction of.
the salt and pepper potato chips you meant to eat, but only did so in the dream i had last night.
the unmade bed that was still unmade when you flew back home, the one i still cannot bring myself to make.
the dyed green hairs i keep finding around the house.
the way you always pronounced 'mosquito' as 'mosk-it-toe' on purpose, and how you pronounced my cat's name 'sullumun' instead of 'solomon' on accident.
the partially closed closet door from the morning i drove you to the airport.
the faint smell of your sweat on my pillow left because of your hyperhidrosis.
the flannel you wore and the longsleeve shirt you doused in your aftershave, that is three sizes too big for me to realistically wear.
the empty taco bell cups in my car from your fourth day here.
the empty shopping bags from our impromptu mall trip.
the polaroids you really wanted to keep, but we couldn't find when you packed.
the pieces of you that you never meant for me to keep that i keep piecing together as though, like an alchemist, i could make you appear again though i cannot, and you are not here, you are gone.

one plus one equals two 
just like me and you 
but why'd you have to divide your heart 
couldn't you give it to me as a whole part? 

I used to love math 
But now it gives me problems 
Literal ones
Couldn't it ask for simpler answers? 

I asked why I had to find your x 
but you didn't answer y 
oh these complicated equations 
these numerous fractions 

oh yes, fractions and ratios 
you gave me a fraction of your heart 
yes, just a half and kept the other 
just so you could give it to someone else 

oh why did math come into my life 
WHAT THE HECK WILL I USE IT FOR? 
I don't need to use my empty brain 
THAT'S WHY THEY MAKE CALCULATORS 

I didn't sign up for this 
I won't be a mathematician anyway 
Oh wait, I lost the point 
IT WAS YOU WHO THREW ME AWAY 

now I'll just go back to being half of everything I used to be

I fell in love with you in fractions,
At first it was simply with your shy awkwardness,
The way our silences were never filled,
And that was absolutely ok.
And then it was with your face,
The stubble on your chin,
The way your eyes crinkle slightly at the corners,
And how you look me in the eye when we talk.
That was followed by the way you held me,
Our bare chests pressed against each other,
Your hands softly caressing my back,
And how you would whisper the sweetest things,
Into my left ear.
And finally I fell in love with the way you didn't love me,
And I was so painfully filled with love for you,
That every fiber of my being begs for you to feel it,
Too.

She used to tell me
of math and poetry
by the length of her arm
and rhythm of her heart
conversing verse and fraction
with form following the function

of communist theories
and greek philosophies.
she beat out aesthetics
with a perfect symmetry.

because no one understands
the relationship between
seafoam and shoreline
the way she does
[swimming in saltwater sorrows]

reimagining time in an hourglass,
she shot up infinities with a glance
and left me moondrunk in the night.

she emits sparks throughout my system
breaking and entering--
my kingdom under siege.

her name was an amalgam of numbers
italic1.6180399. . . .italic
and I loved her by design.