Twenty-One years and a day ago,
On a lonely November night,

There was a woman,
One who is to be respected and loved.
Who was nine months pregnant
No longer.

In her arms arrived a crying pale child,
The mother whispered her name
And the wind caught it.

Little did she know that whisper traveled to me, 17 years later,
And delivered to me the name,
Of the woman I fell in love with.

And it's moments like this
I'd wrap my arms around you.
You'd disappear, head against my chest.
A thousand pieces coming together.
Our eyes closed, curled together in each other's arms.
Each moment prolonged.
Held tight.
Your body against mine.
An eternity in my arms.
Total control of our philosophies.
Unconditional.
Adored.
Suddenly you'd disappear.
Not an ounce of weight could be felt.
Sometimes opening my eyes.
Finding you nice and nestled
Between the width of my shoulders

I am many things.

Most of them I am not proud of...

I am my own lurking monster in the dark,
My own nightmare in the flesh.

I am my own worst enemy,
Even when I'm at my best.

As far as ways I'm good.
Well...
There was just you...

And now that you don't believe in me,

I have nothing
I'm am no good...
Worthless

Mamma always told me-
I was struck motionless at the sight of her
Son,
Don't let me catch you playin' with fire.-
Her hair was ablaze
One of these days you're gonna get burned. -
Yet I am but a moth to her flame

I fell in love twice the first time.
First pinching myself assuring the initial first.
The initial first I realized how silent love was.
Seeing all but hearing nothing.
This was my first kiss.
Coming into contact with a quiver my lips
have never before felt.
Falling in love twice.
Certain that I am uncertain of nothing.
Learning to speak a new language.
Lips poked out.
Exposed to foreign land.
Overlooking my feet.
My ship never before having sailed.
Day turned to night.
My heart stead fast.
Crashing against the ripple of tides.
The experience of something new,
Tides pulled by the hull of rubber soles.
Our arms like anchors.
Our feet hesitant, losing all feeling of finding ground.
Our tongue the cargo set to provide entry 
into things no longer forbidden.
Night reconstructs day.
The initial first of two times I fell in love.
Eyes closed.
Our breath becoming more shallow,
Passing through the canal of each others mouths.
Overlooking the side of my nose against hers.
An anchor dropped.
Chain link after chain link, plunged deep
Far from the shore of everything I knew.
My shoes soaked.
The pavement with every reason to worry.
Forever fractured.
This anchor falling faster and faster.
Without worry of kink

When you hold me.
Hold me like you'll never let go.
Of all the uncertainty in the universe.
I ask that this isn't one of those things.
To melt into your warmth.
If nothing else is certain you've made a difference
in my life.
With a hug so tender.
I've never been so sure of anything.
Your skin pressed against mine.
Our eyes closed tight.
I dare not open them.
Ruining a perfect moment.
When you are in my arms theres no such thing as distance.
Time seems to walk around us.
Without so much as a single word,
Nowhere in particular to be.
These moments like stars, shooting before our eyes.
Accumulating in the pool of our eyes.
Unable to describe the feeling.
You in my arms.
On of the many things I love about you

Asking a question does more than fill open space.
It expresses curiosity.
Devolving into things not easily expressed.
Given our availability.
It expresses a deeper need for connection.
Whether we are open to what we desire most.
Closed off to preference.
 The right time of day or night we can de-clutter.
Taking in what we give out.
Asking a question isn't something done out of boredom.
Or merely because your there.
It expresses a thought that requires action.
That I've thought of you.
That there is a desire laid bare.
An anticipation that builds until the next time
I am able to hear your voice.
For the more serious moments require a deeper tone.
An ear that senses deeper need.
Responding to this deep need of connection.
A need of care.
A need of longing.
To respond to this vulnerability not out of responsibility.
But in the openness of being