A periwinkle sunset ran across the room
only to devolve into the slippery realization
that the heaviness of wanderlust can be no more

Drunken illusions peck at me once again
sober lullabies dance merrily in rainbow bubbles
drifting through a nebula, Zinging with glee

the couch proclaims another victim
****** into the vacuum of many coats
all fuzzy or woolen cuffed

Punching through the withered vindrals
blinded with foggy concrete
a fluttering vision of gems

makes the garden cornucopia come to life
A creeping smile spiders up the face
with blank stares into empty jars

radiating a glittery photocopied jaw
Now becoming closer to thee
crawling through the messy webs of despair

Children's laughter carries you closer
till suddenly vimbers rattle past
subtlety crunching leaves you looking up
at the bottom floor

I love the vibes you give me
I love your many sides
I love how we barely know each other
And we already fight for one another

I love how this feels very new
I love my insights about me and you
I love how I am ready to let go
I love our relationship-flow

I reject fears, insecurities, too many thoughts,
I reflect sometimes, putting feelings into words,
I know we both know how deeply disappointment hurts,
So we're afraid to lead each other astray

But at the same time, we're so curious,
How far can we come,
We want to believe in us,
Because you know, nobody knows...

Is it delirious for us to find our way?
Isn't it obvious that we would love to stay together?
All the obstacles, if we keep believing, will they even matter?
All the opposition that comes and hurts,
It's only words.

Nobody can tear us apart but our fears,
And trying to control is the best way to lose all,
Floating, trusting, warming, lusting, dancing, in smiles,
Loving, time flies,
This is the way,
Now is the state,
And if we're meant to....
Then you know, we will stay.

<3

Not exactly floating
not completely sinking
I have reached a place
where there is no conscious thinking,
it’s a liberation
to be free on the blue and wide
just a piece of driftwood
taken by the tide

If we're in our eighty's
And you thought of me
Relax and don't worry
Days have passed of me being weary

Now I'm floating, not in heaven
Nor purgatory and hell even
I'm one of the stars which the night livens
Smiling like when I was eleven.

grounding doesn't work for me
naming a few things around can't help when nothing feels real to begin with

days pass by in seconds, i hate people as much as i love them
i wish i could just observe & yearn from a distance,
never interact or become vulnerable with people who i wrongfully trusted.

it brought me immense comfort thinking that i don't matter in the world.
that i don't effect the life of anybody.
i needed to tap into that fantasy to sink into the oblivion of sleep without regrets,
to ease my anxiety

i don't know if that's beautiful or sad

i am obsessed with dreams & make-believe, to the point that real life either seems unreal

or too real to the point it paralyzes you

lithe she floats
surface barely breaking
hard as wood, smooth as jade
yet light, a thing of burnished air
barely there
no thoughts to weigh her down
for she has ceased to care

There is an old hymn
this world is not my home
an old friend freely sings
its lyrics but she’s lonesome
never full of joy in her place
ready to depart
but a strong heart keeps her here
for us to talk
and laugh this year
not last or next but now
with both cheer and tears
in our eyes
and on our cheeks.
We’re not waiting.
In this long float
we can smell the fragrance of aster
not before or after
but blooming in our spring
upon this glorious encircling stream.