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I do not know why you do this to me
It's clear I'm not a priority
My eyes open
You prefer them closed
Too late to cover betrayal exposed
To me it's obvious as it can get
Stalling makes me more upset
Either way going to find out
You'll have to confront my pout
The death of consideration at our door
Birthing doubt that loudly roars
Staring at undeniable truth
Witnessing what's in front of me doesn't take a sleuth
My desires to back-burner are pushed aside
Then have the nerve to claim you "tried"
When faced with actions you turn tables
Insisting it's my mindset that is unstable
I've went through cycle over and over hoping it will end
Telling myself to not get angry because it's YOUR money to spend
Even though it's true can't help but feel hurt within
Never learned how to be confident in your ability to win
It must be a lifetime of letdowns and loss
Foolish failures have filled my flesh with frost
Seeming obligated to protect you from your habit
Of course you persist on chasing that white rabbit
As merely mortal you are not to blame
Pull is too severe calling out your name
In your optics a wild glimmer awakens
Want to tame it before your morality is taken
The dawn bridges bad past to promising present's fresh start
Gentle wind whispers words to calm currents crashing in my heart
I follow instincts and they lead to the front door
We would walk together but you don't mirror my strides anymore
And time trickles slower just for having bodies near
I'd live over your shoulder advising choices in your ear
Without fear of flailing or getting lost or stuck
Wandering paths anywhere without giving one ****
I would not hold against you the mistakes recklessly made
Wouldn't be so quick to throw your direction shade
I am a little hasty with my poor attitude
Afraid to fly your leaps of faith I automatically exclude
Rooted in wildflowers intentions sway easily with the breeze
Paint feathers black and white to match piano keys
Borrowed from sunsets is glow warming my ice
Sky calls out a sole last roll of the dice
But the ground quakes beneath our feet
In too much debt to surrender and retreat
A compulsion from a screen formed and it appears it's here to stay
Daring you to raise your bet until there's zero pennies left to play
I carry stress for both our hands
Aching brain responds to negativity's demands
Right this second selfishness has me seeing red
Soon as you mumble "sorry" I'll be holding you in my arms instead
Why am I so quick to forgive?
Sanama Mar 13
A battle, a war — my hopes, my peace,
A storm inside that feels to never cease.
Pain in me, like winds that break all that goes,
And reason? Is it there? Nobody knows.

The dreamer, or the dream that wakes?
The mind that gives or the one that takes?

To struggle within is to be alive,
A flame that fights just to survive.
If war was not within me, would I still be me?
Or just a shadow, drifting free?

So let there be winds strong to tear and spin,
For even torn, I rise — and win.
A poem about the battle with our minds — a war within us. How fighting ourselves shapes who we are. Even when torn, we rise and keep fighting until the end, when we survive.
a poet Mar 5
the sun is as hot as spaghetti
steaming with a sauce
served with a side of sizzling hot cherries.

my tie is so tight I cough in silent h's
and I'm sweating
my pores shooting out like a fountain
and my face, like an umbrella in the rain.

no time to think
no time to reason
"Ding, Ding DIING!"
I jump like I was slapped on the cheek
my beard itches, my right eye twitches
"What the F* is this?"
I write out the first words that come to me
"Ding, Ding, DIING!"
but I'm not done writing
I look at the bell,  "you f*king ****"
and I jump again, like there was a puddle before me
my head is as hot as popcorn
no, even hotter
and you can hear it pop
from the front and from the back
"Ding, Ding, DIING!"
i jump again
it's me vs. a bell.
wrote this to encapsulate my anatomy steeplechase exams
ivan Feb 24
my whole life
all i ever did was fight

to defend them, i thought
to protect them

but the tears only fell on my cheeks
on my face
on my heart

mentally,
physically,
im not okay

my whole life
all i ever did was fight
im seriously not okay.
what is this ****?
dont tell me I have to stuff my mouth in medication
Jaz Feb 16
A natural yet cruel reminder,
That we all have a hidden number.
Of decades, or years, or months, or days,
Left on this world, before we fade away.
“Grandpa had a fall in the middle of the night”.
And you start praying that he can win this fight.  
“Grandma has cancer and it’s terminal”
And you start hoping for a proper miracle.
“Your uncle Ben can’t walk without a cane”
And you start blaming God for all this pain.
Fail safes, like preventive measures;
What percentile are you willing to lose?
You will lose them all.
Don't arrest you family
To the error of your decisions,
Take my advice
And don't take anyone with you.
But you should go. Try.
evangeline Feb 10
if the lines of code
that capture all these thoughts  
somehow bubble up
in a distant pool
in a plasma of pixels
in a far off river of an era
and spill out into the world
let it be known
that i am doing my best
i am fighting the good fight
i am here on the right side
the lovers’ side
and let it be known
that i’ll do my part
to burn it all up
if i have to
feelings on the past and the present and the future of it all
I will soak my mind in kerosene
and strike the match with my teeth;
I will burn myself to the ground
a thousand times
before I will become
the worst of my natural beast.

Only when there are no options
will the stinging vines trap me there
in the ditch of dark consciousness.
Only then will the mud at my feet
finally seize the rest of me
and feast on my warrior bones.
Nat Lipstadt Feb 5
September 2024

few love to sing our Anthem,
almost demanding an operatic
persona, a skilled voice, capable
of great range, but it is a story,
about one man’s imprisonment,
and that phrase:

”Through the perilous fight”

always reminds,
even in peace,
we are forever,
engaged in battle
to be a light among the
nations, a shining example,
and the perils thereof
when we err,
mistake the,
of course!
of
our truest course,
and go adrift

but!
look around,
many, not few,
placing their hand
over the heart,
words reciting,
that’s how I
know, we
yet, still,
want and pray
to be a great nation,
a light unto the world
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