Blood stained washcloth wiping away at a soul stained in secrets
how do you wipe the canvas clean without having to burn it

You adorn the swan that holds coffins under its wings, truths you wouldn't have found above water
You adorn the swan that masquerades it's elegance,claws that found their way to your heart
You adorn the swan that protects it's beauty for that's all it had,a gaze that left you with shame

Tethered robes that screamed struggle Soiled jewels that told mistakes I didn't want repeated
Torn photos,moments of regret I kept hidden under the bed

Doesn't it look beautiful

You put on your glassy mask
So I'll only see
The version of yourself
You contrived for me.

You slip on your suffocating shoes
So you can walk on
Like you're not gasping for air,
And nothing is wrong.

You tie up your hair tightly
So you can pretend
You're that pretty little girl again
With those once loyal friends.

You slide up your dejected glasses
So I can't see your bleeding scars
Hiding behind the facade—
I don't know who you really are.

The sun is up again, the cameras follow suit,
Another daily episode in your scripted life,
Wake up, make up, kiss it up to others,
You wonder, what shade shall it be today?

We live in a society of sycophants and hypocrites,
Deceit is the trending beauty brand in this generation,
To remain of importance on high status you need to follow the trend,
We've got the liars' lipstick, the eye service eyeshadows,
and most importantly, the cover-up concealer!

Come on, come on don't pout now,
Showing emotion is a presumably forbidden act,
Keep it all hidden, go grab your concealer,
Say you need to powder your nose,
don't forget to touch up that fake smile.

Finally home alone you can take it all off,
Don't worry, Mr. Mirror maybe honest but he doesn't judge,
Wipe away your concealer, unveiling that animalistic snarl,
Finally giving way to your true colours.

My Grandmère and I have long, gossipy conversations,
where we fall into our own chatty, slumber party rhythms.

She’s met or knows everyone important, and people tell her things.

They DM her or whisper secrets of lives ordered but loveless,
of careers choked by excesses and indiscretions.

She gets stealthy, leaked business reports of purported fortunes gambled and lost or of innocence wasted in bittersweet embrace - delicious, tangled narratives that expose the gaps between facades and realities that can’t be purchased.

Sometimes we pop popcorn on our private ends of the Atlantic,
watch Netflix, share secrets and laugh conspiratorially.
.
.
Songs for this:
Us by Regina Spektor
Young And Dumb by The Bird and the Bee

Kept out of sight,
And stroked with inks of blue,
I pen in black and white,
And journey my way into you.
Through summer nights,
Back in time of the cusp of signs,
I see you through the slits of light,
As deep down you burned too bright.
I wonder if every facade,
You'd bury in your shade!
I'm bewildered if every heart,
You'd broken to exist in hate!
For as I caressed you on green pastures,
I reciprocate your aura with the soul I laid.
What I could never see within,
You were the one healing.
I'd drive you past your mind maze,
And deflect the waves arising,
Nor did I care to trace.
Or was I realizing?
For if I gave warmth to settle,
I could brush up the haze.
Saw you climbed the beanstalk,
As I fall from cloud nine.
Made you reached the end of time,
And landed on the first line.
I wonder what every facade,
You'll hide within the shade!
Cause deep slumber intertwined with pain,
Is the catastrophe that struck you in vain!

every man looks bigger than they are in the shadows
it takes courage to step in the light
and really be seen

I've begun a war, i wanna abandon.
But the love in me, the one you can't see, is the only reason im here.

I wanna defeat gravity.
I wanna be high and woke.
I wanna blow all these thoughts and the **** called feelings up in smoke.

I want that liquor in my hands and my *** on the floor.
Till i find my way, i won't take steps no more.

Don't wanna go home, cause walls gives the body warmth not the soul.

Give me words to express how i feel.
I don't wanna be real.

I wanna dissappear into the crowds, and not come out.
In my own world.
Im gonna cover up, i won't let them know.
Cover up, i won't let it show.
Cover up.....my broken soul

A few hold a wall in front of them.
Pretending to be someone they are not.
Trying to impress the world.
Trying to impress themselves.
We sometimes try too hard to impress that we forget what we are doing.
True friends "may" see through farcades, true friends "will" love you for who you are.... without the pretending.
We stick ourselves in this teenage mindset, thinking that we have to be perfect, flaws are a bad thing. Life has ended before it could begin.

We need to understand that facades, is not open, and dethrones our true nature. For one to love us we need to love yourselves first. ;)

I always wondered how long I could hold your breath
Hands wrapped like ribbons on your neck
No signs of forced entry since I let myself in gently

I always wondered how my feet will feel on tile flooring
Stained red when you didn’t stop me
Just wanted to write down some notes and your arms were so appealing

I always wondered how I’ll look bathed in blood in the moonlight
Will it look blue with the night hue?
Pity you didn’t let me try, your cries made me lose my appetite

I always wondered how it’ll taste, human flesh from your face
Only the most honorable will be selected
The rest thrown to dogs since they didn’t fit my palate

But of course, I only wondered
I am only hysteric not psychotic your Honor.



© Sofia Villagrana 2018

"I am enough"
She said to the mirror,
Dull eyes gazing back
Her reflection recreating regal
expressions
That coming so naturally before, now were cracked

"I am beautiful"
She said, with silver tears
Brimming in her eyes
In the daytime she was Clepatra
Aching for affirmation, filled with ***** lies

Standing in her own presence
No lines so sweetly versed
No role to be rehearsed
Fists clenched, lips tightly pursed
Oh beautiful tragedy! you lost your identity...
the ache is stayed with the plunge of a blade
breaching  the chasm which once held your heart