All the people that surround me that suffocate my insecurities  
None of them with new faces just worn and weathered obscurities
Just to notice that I'm here is to much for them to bare
They point and judge and leave no one to spare
I can't wear the mask they put on me
I took off the shackles now I'm free

No longer will the past taught my mind
I see now without blinders but with this I see the genuine people are scarce to find
I hope you will not be afraid because I'm not

I'm there, but invisible.
I think that I'm invincible.
But I'm no Iron Man.

I try to be a Green Lantern
In a room full of Red Lanterns.
But trying is never enough.
Trying is never good enough.

Rage-filled regret
Strength-radiated reliance.
They call me devoted
Little do they know,
I've just deviated
From them all.

They tell me not to
Put up a fake front
A façade of sorts.
But I have to
To hide my scars
And shattered mind.

To say that
I'm good
When I'm not
Like aspiring to be
Like Atlantis
A picturesque paradise
An upsized utopia
An insecure phobia.

We were born
Into this world
Told that we were meant to
Change it.
Told that we were
Superheroes and princesses.

But I'm no Superman.
I'm a Sentry at war
With my own self
With those around me
With my own mind.

The happiness that I see
Is one that I cannot bear
Like Batman re-living
Past deaths in his lair.

I live it everyday
Feet full of lead
Like Doomsday and Superman
Here I lay,
On the ground,
Dead.

Every smile I have ever faked
leaves a residue
of questions on my lips.
Asking,
“Why is it,
that this smile can’t be real?
Why is it,
that the world is so easily convinced by my lie?
Why don’t they try to break
this facade when they see it
in which I am trapped?”

hi, you geek.
this one’s for you.
not that this is the only one
about you,
but for now,
it’s the only one i’m writing for you.

i love you.
three words
that tasted like sweet candy
on my lips
after i told you.

also three words
that i came to regret.

but now i see,
as much as i lie
and hide behind
my crafty facade,
the truth still remains
as a weight in my mind.

i love you,
you geek.

I have a heart
That nobody owns.
Pride and honour
Stripped from my bones.

The truth always hiding
Behind close curtains
Heavy burdens
Open doors
Chaotic wars

Demons drag me back forever  
Shadows surround me wherever
I want to be with her, however,
Whatever.

Drives of pain,
Stress stuck in this brain
Of mine
Not owned
I try not to cry
I’m fine.

Punches thrown
Like rain hitting a puddle.
I want to curl up
And cuddle.

They keep coming back.
It’s like ******.
Vision narrowing
Demons echoing

Master of disguise
Deception
Of all the lies
Perception.

Silence is all they see.
Crying for help.
Wounds so deep.
Smiling for them.
So they can be reassured
That I’m cured.

Growing up
we become closer to the person we are not.
How shallow the facade of maturity is.
How fragile the moments when we feel a human,
how quickly they are lost.
How we grapple at the loose ends of what’s left behind.
How we ask ourselves questions
and write about person in the mirror.
How everything we want
is already in past
and everything in future
is just a compromise.

Smiles, giggles, nods and lies -

All clever tools of your careful disguise

A misplaced chuckle, an obvious frown

And your facade crashes down

Around you pieces fall

Though perhaps worst of all - Careful!

For there is nothing more preventing

Your true face from showing

Nameless, but free.
Hair dyed an extraordinary shade of lilac,
sparkling a thousand which ways into the sun.
Like a diamond.

And yes, she was much like a diamond,
They make you believe that they're rare and expensive.
But really, there's millions of them.
They just want to feel special