You were always the show off
I knew from the very start
But that nickname didn't quite takeoff
Until your first work of Art

You usually kept to yourself
At least you did back then
But before long, I found myself
Slowly becoming your friend

You gained the title of hottest guy
And for that you should be proud
So many girls want to be with you
except their way to loud

Your best friends a Gentle Giant
At least thats how it seems
I wouldn't be surprised if a bromance
Sprouted from those hidden seams

You have dimples in your cheeks
that show whenever you smile
Your eyes will slightly squint
As we talk about your lifestyle

A white apple watch, adores your left wrist
But for some reason your always fiddling with this
Always checking the time, as if you were late
Is it really that difficult to slow down and wait?

You're really quite an Athlete
Your never second best
But I really cant help but wonder
Do you ever get stressed?

You do chemistry and business
You run track everyday
You work two jobs on weekends
And yet, you don't seem to be in disarray

Does it ever get to difficult?
Putting up such an act
Cause surely one point in time
Your reputation cracked

Sure you make your bad jokes
And everything seems fine
But does there ever come a point
Where your two lives entwine

A perfect boy doesn't exist
So what i would like to know
Is there something about you
that you never dared to show?

Cause many sit here wondering
And many wish to know
What hides beneath that facade of yours?
whats hidden deep below?

Yesterday I woke up in a feeling of pure nausea.
I threw up in the shower, but I forced myself through because,

I have to keep up with this facade that I have my life together.
That somehow, in some way, I’m getting better.

Yesterday I went to school and I felt scared and alone.
I have no one to talk to, all I have are memes on my phone.

But I have to keep up with this facade that nothing is wrong.
That I haven’t been suicidal and depressed for this long.

Yesterday I came home in a feeling of exhaustion.
I saw a message from a so called friend who said it was me he would abandon.

I can’t keep up this facade, ******* it, I’m already so alone here.
Why would you abandon your friends for a girl who barely knows what personality you wear?

Yesterday I broke down crying from the loneliness and silence in my room.
I tried to sleep it off, but I just woke up in a nauseated doom.

This facade is only a wall to block those who wish to care.
And yet I always claim that I’m not being treated fair.
...
Yesterday I slit my arms until they bled.
Because I’m tired of the things that everyone said.

I can’t keep up with this facade that I’m happy, because I know I’m not.
I feel it every day and it makes me feel like I should lay on the ground to rot.

Yesterday I...

Yesterday I wished there was no yesterday.
Only a silence to fill the room of a body in decay.

But I have to keep up with this facade that nothing happened last night.
I put my long sleeve sweater, smile, and quietly march on, hoping they never notice another lost fight.

I am a happy person
Or at least that's how I seem
I always have a smile
I live a perfect dream

I never am unhappy,
Or hurt or sad or blue
I'm just a happy person
Oh, if you only knew

If you knew how I sit
Forgotten and alone
And watch the world take all
The things I've ever known

I struggle with my faith
I struggle with the Lamb
I struggle with the very kind
Of person that I am

Regardless of all that
My facade remains true
That I'm a happy person
A person just like you

You see into the cracks of my facade.
And you are not afraid,
Or disgusted.

You stay
And you kiss each of those cracks
Until each burst open.
Revealing
Me.
And then,
You tell me you love me.

For the first time in my life,
I believe.
I love you.

Every smile I have ever faked
leaves a residue
of questions on my lips.
Asking,
“Why is it,
that this smile can’t be real?
Why is it,
that the world is so easily convinced by my lie?
Why don’t they try to break
this facade when they see it
in which I am trapped?”

When did a smile become a challenge?
A widespread facade?
A sign of danger?
A mask?