the night
reinvigorates me

evening breath billows past my skirts
soft kisses on my ankles
pinpoints of
indigo-mauve-azure
behind whispering leaves
glass buttoned sleeves brush (clink)
against chain link fences

fast light cars

— bathe me in headlights | (not spotlights)

today passed like a dream
a lit match smothered by skin
a raindrop ****** into a stream
a heartbeat a blink a promise

you don't like reflection well
I hate to tell you darling but the
truth doesn't look good on you
the reason you have nothing to say
is because I am right
Each word that drips from my curving lips
Will only eclipse whatever lies your mind sips
because your heart skips and then your tongue trips
because I am right.

And you pass like a dream
a lit match smothered by skin
a raindrop ****** into a stream
a heartbeat a blink a promise
Because you did promise.

But I knew enough about people
to expect nothing
And you met my expectations.
So I really am...right.

Akala ko nakamove on na ko.
Hindi pa pala.
Nakita lang kita.
Bumalik bigla lahat ng ala ala.

Bakit mo pa ko pinakawalan?
Bakit mo pa ko iniwan?
Sagutin mo lahat ng tanong ko.
Dahil baka mabaliw ako ng tuluyan.

Paano ka nakamove on ng ganun kabilis?
Habang yung mga nararamdaman ko sayo hindi parin umaalis.
Andaya mo naman! Ikaw masaya habang ako nagdudusa pa.
Pwede bang tayo na lang ulit? tayo na lang ulit.

Bumalik ka dito para ayusin lahat ng ito.
Lahat ng mga sinira mo.
Akala ko ikaw na ang bubuo sakin.
Pero ikaw rin pala ang sisira sakin.

I've been telling myself for weeks now that I let you kiss me because I was drunk but I've finally accepted the fact that I've been using it as an excuse because I'm scared of the fact that out of everyone I've been with, you were the first person I let my guard down around.

You were the first person who held me like I mattered. It has been weeks since that night, but I still dream about the way you murmured sweet nothings in my ear. Sometimes it would seem so real, I could almost feel your breath against my neck, but then I'd open my eyes and realize that I'm alone and you're not anywhere near me.

Sometimes I'd get a whiff of your perfume in a crowded place and I could almost feel myself sitting down on that concrete block with your warmth blocking the cold February breeze. For a second, I could feel my head leaning on your shoulder, but a second passes and you disappear, leaving me all alone in a place full of people and a gust of wind that was almost you.

When I finally let you kiss me in that dark, narrow stairwell, I was too busy trying to feel every movement you made, trying to remember every second of your lips on mine to kiss back. Now that I think about it, if I had mindlessly kissed you back that night, will I not fantasize about your lips every time I close my eyes? Will I not think of you every time a kissing scene in a movie comes on? Will I not compare every kiss from every guy that comes after you?

It wasn’t a rushed lunch hour or waiting for one running late,
Everyone wonders why she is in this poor state!
Don’t pity her, it was a choice she made,
She didn’t bat one eyelid so stop throwing her shade.
An unapologetic introvert although not the socially awkward,
She sat at the table rewinding it backwards.

It was the hardest thing she had to do,
She has been living up to the expectations of two.
So she took a little walk, so we could have the talk,
While everyone else around her gawked.

She talked for long hours,
Solved numerous problems that leaned higher than these towers.
A soul that matched hers, the one she remembered in tears,
Enough fire to burn down a small town,
Sometimes she’d even play the clown.
They weren’t lovers nor were they friends,
They were in it for life and knew how to make amends.
It was her! Always had been, the daytime fortresses she built,
Set her free without any guilt.

It was the easiest conversation to start
and the most difficult to finish.
This is why she hid from the world and picked up where she left off.

She had been here before,
Didn’t expect company any more,
She walked up straight and said aloud, “Table for one, please!”

‘Will there be a join?’
‘No, I’ll pay by my own coin.’

Table for one and it’s completely fine.
She used to sit at it and eat and read and sleep and cry and wine.
She ate alone, blissfully unencumbered by any concerns,
And all the while the world turns.

You're blind when you see me,
I'm on my knees and broken.
I remind you who I really am,
Remember these words I've spoken.

Unshakable you see me,
You see me standing tall.
Like a statue made of stone,
You see a rock who'll never fall.

Unbreakable you see me,
You see me effortlessly bold.
Like the stars will always shine,
You see power you think I hold.

Unstoppable you see me,
You see me fighting without fear.
Like relentless worriers conquer,
You see a hero who never sheds a tear.

I make my strength shine bright,
Shine to cover up my weakness.
You can't see past my Confidence,
You refuse to see me my meekness

Even stone can't stand forever,
The world will beat it down.  
I remind you I'm only human,
The world can make me drown.

Even stars can't shine so bright,
So bright to shine through the clouds.
I remind you I'm just another face,
Another face in amongst the crowds.

Even heroes can't withstand all,
Hold the weight of the world alone.
I remind you I can't hold on forever,
Excessive trials will break my backbone.

I refuse to let you believe,
Believe who you see is perfect.
A pedestal I don't deserve,
And don't EVER say I'm worth it.