They say expectations can never be reality.
They say expectations can never set you free.
But wait..

What about death?
What about wars?..
What about the bloodstains that's on the walls?..
What about that kid that used to sleep on a cardboard one night and now owns empires?
What about that Palestinian child inside a cage who practiced music under trees until the voice of his music got louder and louder and set him free?..

It's funny how that we keep having alarms from our dreams but we keep hitting snooze over and over again.
It's funny how that the people who struggle the most flies the highest.

And yes..
We do get dark thoughts.
Yes.
We do face dark blocks.

Look around..
Look around..
Look at the world. Look at how big it is when we zoom in.
But when we zoom out its just small and nothing.
We never know its real unless we live what they feel.
I peek inside a person and I meet a warrior.
A warrior who is sleeping, running, and daydreaming.

It's sad that I never met a warrior who's actually fighting and flying.
We are supposed to grow the earth not cut its trees.
We should quit **** and try to fly in reality.

I revisit a scene once passed
A scene that went by too fast
I unconsciously reach out
And then
Fall into a ditch of murky black.

The first fall, a fall vestigial
The second fall, a fall wistful
Wistful, for I understand
That fall was untasteful
A fall that was not down
But sidewards
Not into a shadow but
A curtain painted black
A curtain that could always
Be drawn back
That is
If you wanted to push past
The strength that you lack.

A fall is a fall
But not always a fall;
In this universe
Direction is relative,
Symptoms and disease
Are not equivalent,
However
It is up to you
To draw back the curtain.

Sebastian quivered as he made his report.
Science - We did quiz. I 102 percent
History - We did read chapter. I finish first and wrote answers to questions. All correct.
English - We did grammar lesson. Adjectives. Describe words. No grading.
Sebastian hesitated, just slightly, and his father exploded.
Mathematics! Report Mathematics! Show Me!
Tears streaming. Hands trembling.
Sebastian removed the math papers from his tiny Hello Kitty backpack.
97 percent. Not perfect. Not the best in class.
The rest is unrepeatable.
Humiliation is much worse in Mandarin.

I wanted to make her feel lively,
I though of presenting her something
But, I didn't know what to present
And I wasn't going ask her too
As I knew her reply,
What then?
Then I kept trying to present her something
Until she would find the perfect something.

Once, she may also feel to present something,
And will ask me,
I will say that I want nothing,
And throughout the life I will get hearty nothings,
While for trying to present her something
Perfect, I have given everything.

Why be alone
When you can pine after apparitions
Of something better.
The good and the
Bad of it is
We don't always get what we deserve.
Why be bad
When you can fail at self improvement.
You're just a lil baby
Stumbling
Lil brat of some selfish lil ****
And that's why boys don't like to love you
But they love to use you.
Why feel sad when
You can choose to be happy you idiot.
Be mindful.
Be quiet.
Don't argue.
Don't prove yourself.
Don't care.
Pay your rent on time.
Be ****.
Be brave.
Be confident.
Submit.
Why be anything at all
When there's a great big ocean
For you to walk into.

Sometimes I just need a break
A break from this crazy life
Wanting to go to somewhere peaceful
With nature all around
Instead of flashy city lights.
Is that too much to ask for?
With all that’s going on,
Each day gets overwhelming and frustrating.
Told to do things I'm not interested in
Yet I still do it for them.
Wherever I go,
All eyes are on me.
Always expected to do my best
Even when sometimes I can’t.
I always ask for forgiveness
And think I’m never good enough.
With all that’s going on,
All I need is just a break.
A break from this crazy life

Am I adorable?
Am I beautiful?
Am I pretty?
Am I lovable?
Am I kissable?
Am I doable?

Aw shucks,
thanks for saying so.