Loneliness is a knife in my chest
It hurts and bleeds

Lol

I’m too ****** up
I’m damaged
I hurt myself
I make it worse
I’m generally ****
And there’s really too much to fix

So yeah...
I get pissy when you tell me
“Oh you’ll find someone...”
And mentioned “when you get married...”
But what if I ******* don’t
How about the reality I’m ******* facing

I’m not pretty enough to have my personality overlooked
****... c’mon I know I’m not pretty at all
I’m entirely emotionally unstable
I’m too defensive to not be a *****
(There’s too much at stake)
I have absolutely no clue how to have a relationship
I don’t know how to talk to people
I don’t know how to meet people
I don’t know how to have fun
And I basically want to die 75% of the time
And maybe I ******* should

There’s really nothing right with me

A fool’s worst fear is the one of people understanding him
How many people in the world despise themselves?
How many pretend not to?
A fool’s brain doesn’t work the same as others do
Very obviously a fool’s brain is too close to a fool’s heart
And if you think love is a battlefield, now you must wonder how a fool must feel
Banging, screaming on doors and beds
Self loathing is apparently free in his head
Small oddities in this world, like you and me
Our fears have no name, like you and me
Voice cracks, tears fall, nose sniffles yet our mouths stay closed
Why’s that broken one?

I do a lot of things everyday, and I remember everything;
But my heart always feel nothing.

Everybody says I'm nothing;
Yes, I'm nothing.
I'm not popular,
I'm not beautiful in other people's eye,
They say I'm crazy, I'm horrible, I'm a loser.
But  I have my family who cares for me;
I only have few friends who supports me;
I only have few people who truly loves me.
Those "few people" are the ones who makes my day complete.
Those "few people" are the ones who makes me happy and they are a gift to me.
Yes, You can say I'm nothing;
But I have everything.

uncommon grows normal
routine with procedure
getaways, paradise, heaven
bare, void, blank
air occupies what was
take afoot inside
think comfort, warmth
ignited with flames
books of wisdom
books of happy
books of reflection
raveled with devouring famine
scorching heat searing
the leather casing
the thin sheets
the purpose of it all
all that's left
crumbled cracking at the seams
indistinguisable at corners
words left legible
smack dab middle
with colors reminiscent
pouring white milk
into black coffee
only this time
an odor intoxicating as gasoline