i’m always asking questions
i already know the answers to
for some reason i can’t accept it’s real
unless i hear it from you
and the answer is always no
i tell you i understand
and it's true, i do understand
because i have been preparing myself
to hear you say it
since the day it began
it’s good and then it’s bad
and it’s love until it’s apathy
as sure as the sun sets
in the west i know all
good things turn to dust
just as suddenly as they
accumulated into opacity
i don’t want to accept the way
i’m so easily turned into a casualty
a plan made two weeks in advance
is almost unheard of in my life
i know there’s a good chance
you won’t be here by the time
i get your christmas gift in the mail
but i ordered it anyway because
a piece of me is always hopeful
but hope isn’t always the dreamy
optimism i usually paint it to be
sometimes it’s just an excuse
to turn a blind eye to the end
if you shut the door i’ll
cover my eyes so i can’t
see you leaving, even with
goodnight on the tip of my tongue
if you don’t say goodbye
i’ll stand there til i fall asleep
thinking you might still wrap
me up and carry me to bed
i knew all the words before
but i needed to hear them said
i’ll ask you a question just to
hear you tell me i’m right
and the answer is always no
he loves me, he loves me not
a million yeses don’t lead to another
and a trillion noes will end the same
but i need to hear it from you
crush the hope stirring in my
chest that makes it harder to
breathe, say it soon, or i’ll die
holding my breath for you,
again
