Today, I’ve felt
a new sort of empty—
not the kind I’ve known before,
but something softer,
quieter,
hollow in a different way.

I have the world
just minutes from my reach,
and still—
he hasn’t filled this void.

As I write,
the phone begins to melt into my hands—
left side lifting,
right side falling,
then reversing—
a quiet seesaw of glass and ache.

My dim screen flickers,
and the world fades at the edges.
Tiny black dots bloom
in my peripheral vision—
not enough to blind me,
just enough to remind me
I’m slipping.

I ate a small chocolate granola bar today—
just that.
I was hungry,
but the hunger vanished beneath tears—
tears over him
not understanding
what he’s done wrong—
again.

A million times—
maybe less,
but it feels like that now.

And maybe it’s stupid.
But I feel ignored—
again.

I tried to explain.
I always try.
But he always forgets.

I tell myself: don’t care.
But I do.
God, I do.

It wasn’t even a big deal—
but somewhere in the silence,
my self-confidence slipped away.

I deleted every photo of myself.
All of them.
Gone.
I don’t even know why—
just that this sadness
poured in like floodwater,
crashing through the walls I’d built
to keep it out.

I’ve been sleeping all day,
avoiding his name,
my family’s voices.
I keep drifting,
even as I write.

I don’t want to do anything anymore.
And I don’t know
what’s wrong with me.

Where should I search life
It a not there in the sweetest memories or bitter truth or in the jaws of lies
Where can I find it when it is nowhere to be found outside
But when I looked into myself
A bimmering light which was suppressed with my own makings
I saw it wanting to be free to enjoy every moment
Wanting to grow and to help others
I saw it never for itself but waiting for me to take its path
I saw it fight all the worlds and my own selfishness
I saw it inside the depths of my soul
A light which never can be dimmer more a light which never can be lived more
A light which never can be happy more
Maybe that's what I was looking for
My own life within me

First I made tea, it's just what I need
And I drank it real slow, felt it's warmth soothe my throat,
I went back to bed, no messages to be read
For a moment I just lay there

So I washed my hair, perfect time for self care,
A full everything shower, took barely over an hour,
For a moment I just stared at the mirror

Well I turned on my console, pretend I'm in a different role,
I played the Sims, fulfilled her every whim
For a moment I just watched the game go

It's time for dinner, I'm wishing I was thinner,
I decide not to eat, not very hungry since we don't speak,
And for the rest of the night I'll lay here

Today I am…
A wisp of hazy cloud, drifting aimlessly.
A sponge, wrung dry. Only ***** suds remain.
A drop of water, endlessly falling—drip… drip… drip…
The colour grey. A dull shade. Just… there.
A fallen cup, its drink long evaporated.
A rock, lying on the riverbed, unmoving, watching life swim by.

Once upon a time, there was a love.
She lived in a responsive heart.
That love grew up and blossomed as amazing flower.
And they had never ever lived apart.

That love lived really like in heaven.
Her life was careless just to the full.
But once he came! Her curse and misery!
And love began to fade in full.

He weaned that love from joke and smiling.
She stopped to look with open eyes.
He was her ****, her full obsession.
She was his captive, no otherwise.

So heart was suffering, love was dying.
There was no happiness in their mood.
And heart, inspite of pain and sorrows,
Just let the love to leave for good.

Since then the heart is fully empty.
The love is gone. Where’s she and how?
No love, no truth, no faith, no kindness.
No point to live from then to now…  

There was a love. And she was pure,
Unblemished, naïve and to all.
But you destroyed her white perfection.
You make her suffer just in full.