meet me there
where the world ends

i need some air
for there's no friend

nobody to share my woe,
and i always count to ten
before i take my life.



sincerely you had me
and you have me,

surely you must have an idea
what led you to me
to the place where i hide


and i'm dying in circles
in this circus
circled by the circus
going deeper

take me to your home
i want to see how you cry
behind the closed doors
where the real you lives

not the one
you keep for the people


i'm so poor and dry
i can't even give you me

nor have i any dreams to trade
and i'm going to waste alone
i don't even need your hate
to remind me of the reaper

blinding me of you,
chasing me through
this heaven


and oh look how
i've killed myself again
you didn't even see me
count to ten,


eleven.

I live in a dying city.
With more for sale signs than inhabitants.
When walking through the streets i see no activity, no joy and no people.
This city has no malls, no gas stations, no schools.
When passing by the old buildings who used to house laughter and learning i only see the unmowed lawns and crumbeling structure. Yesterday i heard an ambulance.
Now there is one less inhabitant and one more for sale sign.
This city is dying, if we leave, it will be gone forever, if we stay it will die with us.
Im not sure the title, city, fits anymore.
I live in a place with small rows of houses and more for sale signs that inhabitants.
I live in a place where laughter is no more and where failure is written on the street names, i live in a place that is dying with no hope for resurection.
And no, it is not our fault, it is not your fault, we can not blame anyone for the deception our city has caused.
We live here, we stay here, and we will fight for our right to call this place a city for as long as there are inhabitants.
Untill all there is, is for sale signs, we will be living in this dying city.

are we nothingness?
are we god?
or something in between?
i do not know
but we are so much more
than we think we are
that truth will reveal itself
upon our death

to those who fear death
know that death
is the ultimate trip

In last night's dream I met the 3 fates
They said, in unison, I could go back in time
Just for 24 hours, to any day I wanted

I picked the day you died.

I ran to your house and explained
What would happen to you, soon
Thinking, in my hubris, I could stop it

At first, you thought I was joking
Or playing some sort of cruel trick
Until you saw the tears form
I hugged you, in a way I hadn't
In over twenty years and said I was sorry

We stayed up all night watching bad tv
Eating sweet snacks from the pantry
I read to you, my favourite poetry
I told you everything, and I lied
That I was happy, that I'm okay

And for a moment I thought that maybe
It wouldn't happen. That you wouldn't go.

Soon after, a gasp for air.
The death rattle. I held your hand.
I watched you die and was helpless to stop it.
But I was there with you, in my dream
To the very end, you were never alone

I wish I could've been there with you
Traumatizing as it would have been for me
I'm so sorry I wasn't there