I had to sit up to stretch my back.

      Starting to think I'm unfixable.
Always thinking unthinkables.

I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
I say that too often, but I mean it always.

Always.
-to bring you up from darkness.
-to kiss your wounds.
-to drown in my own puddle of pity.
-to take a breath to soon.

And here I am.

My - own - little - slow - motion hurricane that rips - me - limb - from - limb as I cry and pry my - way - out - of - the - coffin that you have sown - my - lips - in...



I'm sorry, no.
NO **** that I'm not.
I'm not sorry that I yearn to love.
I crave to be loved and no one should feel as empty as me.
NO ONE!

So I'll give you the skin from my body to show a stranger that I give a **** that they live.
Then I'll slink away to shadows,
I will cleanse myself of his sins.

Because I love you I’ll hold your hand while we walk past your friends
But they won't see my grip, how white i'm growing at the fingertips
Because I love you, I’ll trust you with his number in your phone
Only till we get home, because then baby, his numbers gone
Because I love you I’ll hold your phone for you babe
And crush it beneath my feet when I even get the creeping feeling that you think of another girl
Because I love you, I’ll make your eye black and blue and show you this is what love is
I’ll set your house on fire baby. Is that girl pretty now?
Because I love you, I’m going to break your legs so you can't run away from my love
Why won't you let me love you baby?
Isn’t every bruise a reminder?
Isn’t every broken bone a kiss?
I love you baby
I won't do it again I promise

the sky was the bluest it has ever been this morning
and it puzzled me how the temperature raised from 18 to 30 overnight

i turned in bed, as always you were drooling on your pillow
and i stretched my arms, it was green and purple and yellow

i always knew you were funny, had me laughing since the first day
you always had a punch line,
last night the punch line was my face

your audience was my body, your stage was this bed
your applause were my tears and this is what you said

"i love you but you're too sensitive. stop crying," you said
while your knees were on my shoulders, a pillow over my head

"you hurt me. you ******* hurt me," you said
as you spat on my face, said you wish i was dead

i always knew you were strong, with arms that made me feel safe
last night i discovered what it meant to be *****

He's a self indulgent pig, a *******
you should of seen from the start,
I stared at him but did not judge,
though I did silently;
choosing to believe
the lie you sold yourself -
but he still did it anyway, didn't he?

'Thwack'
The Pig squeals

"A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down"

In that moment you should of ran,
faster than any muscle of man,
but you didn't did you? You made excuses, covered his tracks,
"He's sorry"
tell me where are you now?
hmm, Where are you now?
I ponder with pen at this late hour.

Irrelevant,
Is he Man?
Or an Obscene NurglePig-
"Worse than that, so End it" I said.

"He's sorry"

My eyes rolled deepset and ****** into the back of my head
for a lifeless eternity;
when those words left your lips,
I saw how weak you could truly be-
It horrified me.

The weakness of women, just another broken dame;
If I still yet had a heart that pulsed
I'd chuckle, Grimly, then maybe
- cry alone to forgot,
Thanks for that.

If you want a blunt that doesn't bruise - Truth.
Formless of agenda,
swallow this pill and listen;

Let's see-
you didn't run did you?
You stayed clawed to floor,
I had to soothe your sores, and talk;
Listen to your woes, another year.
of tolerating presence, burning eyes,
burnt.

I'm not sorry for what he did, if it wasn't me why would I be?
Maybe not so much now. I buried it, It's forgotten, sadly buried,
another woman's secret I'll add to my portfolio;
something that somehow become my responsibility to bear.
Guess what- stopped caring, Keep your own, Adults.

There will come a day I won't be at the bottom
of the stairs he threw you down,
commonly scarred and mottled, broken in my garden,
Weeping, the reasons plainly evident -
a piglet's insecurity.

And I'll just be standing there in a dark room beating his filthy
******* face into a puddle of pulp,
then the pulp into a puddle,
then the puddle to chunks for the endless void,
grab that final chunk of flesh and throw the empty
carcass to the ******* dogs.

The dead pig revealed, screaming in agony
pathetic red stain on the floor,
more gore than the heaviest flow.
How's that for a show?
Best show ever, Period.

Bye for now, and don't take me for a fool;
Your compassionate tool-
Because I am not that,
and neither are you.