I missed you.
oh, did you?
perhaps, i should not have said that,
didn't want to make you mad–
mad? you already did.
you disappeared for months.
what are you turning into?
what made you cry?
what do you want?

Rue, it's not that big a deal,
you're just making a scene.
then why is your voice shaking?
you sound like a kid performing.
are you drowning in dust?
in a city of rust?
you aren't crawling for nothing.

Rue –
what. do. you. want?
RUE!

The binding I know is real ,
A merging too grand to fake ,
Though I hold a primordial fear,
That the bond one day would break ,
You are a dream I will forget
when at last I awake,
And all the balms the psalms the crooked charms
Wouldn’t stop the burning and the perpetual yearning ,
Those hounds biting at my heels,
How far you are further than far
And the further you lie the more I sigh,
The more I suffer in dreams,
And now I stand naked and lonely ,
Gazing high and moving slowly ,
With a thousand ,if only,
No word can be more justified
To hold my silent testimony.

why would I love you, when you've known only the minutes between deep breaths and laughter?
why would I love you, when you've felt only the warm touch of summer rain through cotton fabrics?
why would I love you, when you've asked only the shallow questions and given answers that one can find etched on tree trunks?
why would I love you, when you've not lived enough to know me?

why would I want you, when your laughter barely echoes in my bones?
why would I want you, when your touch is as cold as silken gloves?
why would I want you, when your mind is satisfied with not knowing?
why would I want you, when your life had just begun?

why would I need you, when all I've known are the seconds between deep breaths and drowning?
why would I need you, when all I've felt is the cold touch of howling winds and hailstorms?
why would I need you, when all I've asked was left unanswered and I've still too many questions?
why would I need you, when all I've lived is epilogue?

I loved a star that never knew my name,
a silent flame,
fixed in the wreck of night.
Her stillness fooled me
into believing she sang.

She blinked once
in some long-dead century,
and I’ve lived ever since
by ghost light.

They say she's gone,
burned out or broken,
but I keep whispering psalms
to her afterglow,
drinking to the shape she made
in my sky.

I don't need the truth,
just the dream
of her burning.

Like something that waited for me,
not knowing I was too late
the moment I began.

In English, they say I love you.
But in poetry
I say:

I tried to imagine a life without you,
and my heart didn’t break at the thought
it simply refused
to build a world
where you and I do not exist.

I could walk the lush skin of greenery,
barefoot on the breath of flower filled garden
knowing you are somewhere
safe,
loved,
smiling
at the sound of your name
called out by a stranger
who isn’t me.

I would still smile.
Because you are breathing,
because you are held
perhaps under arms more suited
to your rhythm,
your values,
your laughter that hides in dry jokes,
your silliness
that someone else will call adorable.

Loving you?
means giving you away
to the life you were meant to have,
even if mine is not written in your pages.

We were almost,
could-have-beens
stitched by longing
but unraveled by trust
because the Almighty is the best of planners,
and I, only human
learning to love
without holding.


Bellah.

ओ मेरे मितवा,
मुझसे रूठो ना रे तुम।
मुझे प्यार हुआ है तुमसे,
तुझमें हो गए हैं गुम।

ख़ुदा से माँगी है एक दुआ –
मेरा प्यार तुम तक पहुँचा देना।
मिल गए तुम इस ज़िंदगी में,
तो फिर और क्या है पाना?

फ़ासले हमारे बीच के
चुभ रहे हैं अब मुझे,
बेसब्र हो गई हूँ अब
मिलने के लिए मैं तुझे।

इज़हार न कर पाई मैं
तुमसे अपने प्यार का,
बयान न कर सकी मैं
दिल से की मोहब्बत का।

इस प्यार की चुनौती में,
ऐ ख़ुदा, तुम मेरा साथ देना।
रूठा है वो मुझसे –
उसे कैसे भी है मनाना।

मनातल्या कोपऱ्यात आहे
आठवणींचा ठेवा,
ती बरोबर असण्याचा आनंद
त्यांच्याच मदतीने घ्यावा.

प्रेमात कायम जवळ असणं
हे गरजेचं नसतं,
लांब असूनदेखील मला
ओढ तुझीच असते.

सतत तुझा वाटतो अभिमान,
आनंददेखील होतो,
पण एकत्र आनंद साजरा करण्याचा
मोका माझ्याकडे नसतो.

माझी काळजी करू नकोस
असं मी कायम तुला सांगतो,
तुझ्या काळजीत मात्र मी
माझा प्रत्येक क्षण काढतो.

i know that we're drifting.
i don't want to think its real.
i don't want to know what happens to us.
our friendship --
meant so much.
i'd hate to lose it.
i don't want that.
i want us to stay close,
stay friends.
i just need you in my life.

i need to tell you about all the gossip --
all my crushes,
all my weird fashion choices.
i need to tell you,

because i don't want to drift.