An emotionless pit of skin and bones
   Sunken eyes and pupils made of stones
She can't hear the judgement or grief
       Silently she sits with stares of disbelief
    She can't understand what she feels
         or say what she thinks
    Illiterate emotionally, unstable and drained of dignity
       Sleeps so sound she can't even hear her dreams
             Life continuously surrounds her yet can't seem to slow down
       She can't remember where the last place her sanity was found
           Dug herself into the ground just struggling to breathe
        Too lost in her mind to find the time to grieve
           An empty shell of the soul that she used to be
       And no one will be on the other side
                     *waiting...

The cusp of the moment
Felt like a precipice;
Like pressure rising before
That first flash of lightning
That bleeds into the next.
The air was charged
Before those words were said;
The crackle as tangible as static
Raising hairs along my arms.

They felt like hands
Spreading across the furled wing-bones of
My shoulders
It was that gasp before the shove,
The realization dawning,
The knowledge of the fissure below
Where the sun found no purchase.

The words left her lips
And I fell
Unhindered to a place
Where you're not breathing.

"What did you do?"
Nothing
"What did you do?"
.... Nothing
He stared me down
for a solid minute
"What did you do?"
I stayed quiet
"What did you do?"
I...
"What?"
"What. Did. You. Do?"
I hooked up with...
"What? Louder?"
Evan
He stared me down
Unblinking
Turned his head away
Didn't speak to me
when I tried to change
the conversation topic
"Hey?"
Nothing
"Did you know, uh,"
silence
"that snails grow their shells?"
I tried to break the quiet
Slowly, measuredly
he said in even tones
"Get your ****."
I was quiet this time
"Go."
What?
"I said get
your ****
and

All I need is my invisible friend
Although I must say
That lately he has been absent
The favours he used to do
Like splitting seas
And sending plagues
And the occasional help
With burning desires
And itching sinfulness
It has decreased
Brought back to an absolute minimum
Making me wonder
If now is the time to move on
But He and I
We go back such a long time
From when I was a kid
And He a couple of thousand years old
So it’s hard to imagine
That it was just my imagination all along

I don't believe in the words you say
No matter how hard I try to force myself
I always fall in between restraint
Your words will always be a contruction of lies
Even if they were built on how you believe things will be
How you forsee you and me but I,
I will always hide behind my doubt
I will always get used to the feeling of people leaving
It's kind of sad to know that the only love I have ever known
Is the love I always offered
Receiving nothing in return
So I'm sorry if I find everything hard to believe
Even if they are just words on screen
There is only one thing I want you to believe
That I know how much effort and emotion you put into them
But it's just that I feel that those words
Are never meant for me

n.j.