Outside, cars drive by
Revving their engines
Tyres heaving and sighing
Cicadas chirping a rhythmic tick in the park
Crickets nearby, abuzz, filling the sound
The Botanical Gardens lures the suntanned and glistened
It is humid! So I’m told
I sit at my desk. The helm of this wonderful building
Residents drift in and out past me
Offering sweet smiles and gestures
Ibis visit, picking out the bugs of the terracotta façade
Two Indian Myna Birds build a nest in the canopy
I am mesmerised
A rainbow light streams in across a beautiful artwork
Did Mr Piano know that that this light beam would cut across the lobby for me to see?
The keys are in order and checks done. Mr Reed got his paper.
The building sits solid as the seasons pass.
Breathing calmly as it’s heart beats for a very long time.

Hey baby, give me your sweet lovin’, hey
A bucket of sugar in my latte
Hey sugar, give me your sweet candy kiss
Your mustachioed lip **** Fizz

Your sweetness hits me high
A baked cheesecake ricotta pie
The more you give, the more I crave
But diabetes? I don’t wanna have

Hey darlin’, your lips are sweet candy
The first hit and I am Ghandi
You always leave me wanting more
But all this lovin’ drops me to the floor

Hey baby, shoot me your jellybeans
Pants bursting their seams
A sip of coke, a swig of soda
Caramel fudge and a Sambuca chaser

Hey sugar, I kinda need a hit
But so much sweetness, my jeans don’t fit
Lets eat our sherbet pops aloud
Dipping dots with amplified sound

Smokin’ high on chocolate cigars
Spill crumbs on coffee stained guitars
My appetite for the sweet stuff grows
Will diabetes take me? Who knows.

I am a decrepit old man
On the brink of sacred flesh
Don’t know what I’m searching for
Just pounding it out

I dreamed of perfection
I’m hoping this is my resurrection
The pound of young flesh on my screen
Just whacking it out

Give me wings to flee from this hell
Give me the time wasted before I get old
One thing that I learnt in this long endless life
Is deceit and lies and to cover it all up

When I was a young fella I was a walking *******
Now in my late years, it seems nothin has changed
It was great for a while there and it was all going great
The siren call from my laptop just too much to take

Give me wings to flee from this hell
Give me the time wasted before I get old
One thing that I learnt in this long endless life
Is deceit and lies and to cover it all up

Car tyres are flat and rego run out
Sittin like a pig in mud with no shower in sight
I had it all… daughters…. And a faithful wife
How did we live our best years and have nothin’ to share?

Give me wings to flee from this hell
Give me the time wasted before I get old
One thing that I learnt in this long endless life
Is deceit and lies and to cover it all up

Alone with screen and my hand
Thrashing the cold sheets in my unmade bed
Surfing the net is just a band aid I can’t tear off
Pounding the surf trying to stay afloat

Give me wings to flee from this hell
Give me time wasted before I get old
If I could rise from this wave that I am on
No more deceit or lies when I am alone

I do was forever
I do is for never

I will, for a life to fulfil
I will, for the blood spill

My darling, will you marry me?
Years of hints
I decided to ask
Is it wrong for a woman to ask first?

Disbelieving
His reaction
His breath heavy and heaving
Fidgeting in his chair

My face, sallow in its seriousness
Cast a cold shadow on his bones
His body turning away
The back of his head

In my veins moved oxygen pure
My breath calm and subdued
Knowing the answer before it was asked
Confirmation from his lips due

What does one do after many years?
Is it ok to force one into marriage?
Am I giving myself up?
Am I giving in?

My darling. Will you marry me?
You are the love of my life.
Will you marry me?
No, he said.

Sea gulls calling
Small waves lapping on the sandy beach
Quarantine Bay
Sleepy as the dawn breaks
Yesterday was wind, ice and cold
Today, a gentle sea breeze
The waves are whispering
Silver ribbons kiss the sand
A Sulphur Crested Cockatoo squawks
He praises the warm sun
It is lovely here
Hearts melt all over the bay
The big thaw
New beginning is long overdue

I am the afterglow
Was once strength and beauty
Was once a time of hope and grace
Was a time of confidence and health
Now in its'place
A dried up cerebellum
Legs like sawed timber
Ataxia effecting a wide gait
A freak
No longer beautiful
No longer skinny and toned
Fat and immobile
Lazy and fatalistic
Let death take me quickly
and smudge away my tracks
Erase all memory of me
I have gone