Dear Sister, you chose to leave.
You let me grieve upon loss.
You let me put myself last and yourself first.
You let me worry when I shouldn't.
You let me cry for you.
You let me get angry.
You let me feel pain.
You let me feel anxious.
You let.. you didn't let me do anything.
I chose to be the one to do that for you. To feel that with you.
You decided to take that for granted, and for that.. I owe you nothing.
I don't owe you a place to stay.
I don't owe you my love.
I don't owe you kindness.
I don't owe you anything.
Nobody owes you their time of day.
Nobody owes you the physical items you hold in your hand.
So why go around treating everyone like dirt?
To make the people that care about you suffer.
If it's to make yourself feel better, then I hope you feel worse.

Got my background *****
Never my fault, I've tried
Don't even blame my fate
Everyone littered constantly
Put my life under many sweats

Had to wake up and run
Never turning back, just trying
When hardwork pays off
To get that taste in every level
Cramps transformed to rewards

It's a risk to root down deep
Staying in that mode unshakeable
That's how I'm growing through
With all these dirts beneath me
Strengthen my stem and blossom
On the surface like a lotus

Vile a sinner as I
The hearing and my trial
Alone I am condemned

I killed a man
I sent him to his death
I shouted a shout to end his life

Buried him in dirt
Sealed him in a tomb
Wounded for my name

It is my sin to blame

In that hole is the way
In that grave is the truth
Buried is the life eternal

Champion of death
Victory in the grave
This man is my only hope

The power within him
Indescribable life to win
The way the truth the life

In Him is life eternal
From the grave he bore life eternal
Ressurected he gives life eternal


His name is YHWY
His name is EL Shaddai
His name is Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior

Convicted in my place
Crucified for my shame
Guilty as charged was I

No I don't care
if I'm being selfish here,
but I need you to
stick by me.
No, I don't mean to steal your time
but from now on,
all your time is mine,
all your strength is mine.
I've dug a hole, just for you,
It's up to you to refill it
either with dirt, myself
or all the scars that once hurt.
Love,
Anti.

I shower everyday but
It is not enough
I can not be clean enough.
I need to be cleaner.
Cleaner. Cleaner. Cleaner.
I want to be clean and new
But every rinse leaves me withering
It is drying
My skin leaving me
in cracks and holes
My hair is falling out.
I do not remember the last time
I scrubbed every inch of the filth away.
It clings to me.
It has found shelter in me.
It is a part of me.
I want to be clean.
I want it gone.
I do not remember the last time I was clean.
I do not remember the last time I showered.

l.s.

I haven't a place in this world
I have no one to trust
I have a need to hide
I have a want to trust
I have a want to love
And to be loved for in return
I have a need to glove
My feelings and my hurt
So no one will every know
How much I feel like dirt...

picture me of dirt and
    relieve yourself and watch it and be pleased
    and return to the trampoline