Skyscrapers in every nation,
Signs of mankind's aspiration,
Millions of plebs face starvation,
No dwellings for them, deprivation,
No, skyscrapers they keep building,
How many lilies are they gilding?
What else could they  be doing?

curled wrists folded within crumpled sheets
heartbeats gently flutter beneath my skin
drunk on dreams as I nestle
further and deeper into oblivion
however my mind is choking
mental reminders of things past
objectives to complete
work to be finished
I, bleary eyed, weary *****
assume a vacant mind
fixed to a beat body
mess of movements, mess of thoughts
3am is so unkind
to a lonely longing mind

Am I inclined to believe,
Or required to deceive
Another trick up my sleeve to make you pleased
With emotions I've presented you with
Contagious like disease
This love I'll infect you with
See how much I can give
See how much you can receive,
*I'll make you believe you can't deceive
What can see right through you

You might think you need a tailor

But here's the only one you've got:

A poor choice of cloth

Married to a poorer thread

Spawning knock-offs

Over budget shops.

So you may as well invest,

For it matters not a jot

What you think you choose to wear,

It never really lasts.

A tear here, a cut there;

With cheap cloth,

It does not take much

To turn your life ragged.

My eyes are sunken a dark gray aura surrounding their gaze,
My blue irides surrounded by a web of crimson veins.
My ***** blonde hair a tangled mess of greasy strains,
3 am and I realize I haven't slept in days.

3 am and student loan debt is still clawing at my mind,
3 am and over this unemployment ****, I've yet to climb.
3 am and a solution I've yet to find,
Where is my family when i'm in a bind?

Where is mom, still drinking with her friend?
Where is dad, did he leave me for them?
Where is love, on money does it depend?
I'm tired but where do my problems stem?

I'm tired its been 58 hours and 51 minutes,
I'm tired I think I've reached my limits.
I'm tired I just can't win it.
My reflection in the mirror a sad beaten grimace.

bleary eyed and weary *****
tendons creak and muscles groan
stomach grumbles and lungs lament
every shred of will is rent

dreams are beating down the door
face keeps falling towards the floor
the war against the night is lost
the darkness comes despite cost

To the crushing of bones
when you implode;
my stubborn skull
was no match for the concrete.

I flew face first-
now I am ground into dirt,
or the dirt is ground into me
wherever I’m bleeding.


I can’t clean these wounds sober.
this girl?
you won't know her.

my jaw is popping-
is there any chance of that stopping soon?
The moon is closing in on the sun,
threatening to collide
and I've grown wearing of hiding in the night.
I'd just like some
medical attention.

My knees,
my knees...
I forgot to mention they're all ******;
I don't have the money to call off
for a few days.

can I sleep on my face?
my pain is evidence of my shame-
these wounds just my physical disgrace.

I'll regain coherency
at a quarter till three
with a swollen, puffy face
and vinegar in my veins.

just add it to the list
of blundering strains
maybe some time in the future
I’ll be able to worry about it again.

it never ends.

my new lamp, shattered
my clean sheets
dirtied and tattered.

my left ear is buzzing-
everything has gone fuzzy
and my head is numb and
throbbing.

maybe I’ll sleep well tonight,
and my nightmares will find me
without any fight left
in my dried out bones
and pseudo studio home.

c.m.
draft/original: 8.5.14
posted: 1.7.15
revision/edit: 1.8.15

"Wake up!, it's six thirty already!"
I groan and get out of the bed
only to know that she woke me an hour early