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Perri Sep 2018
Other men look
with interest and intrigue
while I walk behind you,
small,
as you take lead

I look them in the eyes
hoping they sense the hurt in me,
seeing my distress,
praying they will come set me free

So as I walk in your shadow
shameful
and unimportantly
I'm hopeful
my worth
will shine
for all the others to see
~
Perri Sep 2018
I have this RAGE burning in me
that I can no longer hide
You make me feel so worthless
that daily I pray
that I die
because I can't stand your face
your stupid ******* hair
and smile so wide
but you wont let me leave
for a year now, I've tried
so please, sweet souls
that reside in the sky
take me up there with you
for every night that I cry
I am drained of hope
as I let out an exhausted sigh
I'll be waiting for my turn
As I am ready to say goodbye
Maggie Lyles Sep 2018
I want to have reasons for my emotions
Please stir my *** to put a face on my feelings
I'm upset when I have no reason and angry when I'm at peace
Give me an answer for this fire flaming in my stomach
Arson.
Cherisse May Sep 2018
I never really succeeded at anything;
not even suicide attempts,
not even anything memorable.
I've just been unfortunate enough to be unlucky at everything.
I just want this horrible feeling to go away.

my ceiling broke once again. I just want this to stop. To end everything.

Why can't I?
Alysia Marie Sep 2018
I feel like a puddle in front of a school.
Having children jump in me one after another as they see me on the ground.
But every time you jump in a puddle,
the water disperses..
the puddle gets smaller from the water splashing out.
And oh my,
far too many feet have dipped their toes into the hollows of my being for me to feel functional.
I feel as if I’m shrinking like that puddle in a sense.
Tainted by ***** shoes making permanent alterations to my pre-existing form.
Maybe sometimes there’s no “adaptive responses.”
The only way for the puddle to fill and grow again,
is for more rain to fall.
But there are no clouds in this sky of “me.”
A bit of a ramble, but frankly I don’t know how else to describe the way I’m feeling tonight. Sometimes “nothing” says volumes- but it also is just that... nothing
Cherisse May Sep 2018
the first time i did it,
my neck didn't break, the rope fell,
and the ***** simply came off;
it couldn't support me.

the other attempts,
I've been trying,
but I always kept telling myself there's still
some reason out there for me to try and fight this.

I guess tonight isn't one of those days.
Here's to hoping
the superglue on my ceiling
gets to hold me nice and tight.
i hate this feeling.
Gracie Anne Sep 2018
Do not tell me
Your best friend wouldn't be
Gasping for air as she
Hurls herself to the ground
In agony and grief.
Do not tell me
Your classmates wouldn't stare
At your empty seat
Holding back tears
Long after you're gone.
Do not tell me
Your teachers wouldn't give anything
To read one more paper
Or grade one more test
So long as they can have you back.
Do not tell me
Your brother wouldn't
Walk past your closed door and
Be yelled at one more time
For one more stupid problem.
Do not tell me that your father wouldn't wish
That he could hold his baby
Instead of watching them lower his princess
Into her final resting place.
And do not ******* tell me that your mother wouldn't sob
As she washed your last load of laundry
That you would ever *****,
Wishing she could smell her baby girl
One last time.

Do not tell me they wouldn't miss you

Because they would.
Teen suicide rates are soaring, and not much is being done about it. I'm publishing this in the hopes that one person will read it and GET HELP. You are not alone. I've been where you are. You can do it.
Demons Sep 2018
Today is my birthday
In which I was born 15 years ago.
Happy? I am not.
Do I know why? No.
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