Claustrophobic meetings of
                   myself in the mirror.

I'm shut in this refection,
               when I know this
          isn't me..

Pain attacks of a realization,
                       I'm stuck in this
         obituary of looks..
                        I scream only seeing within..

I was little bit happy,
Little bit sad,
Cuz in the end,
You will break my heart,
Still it will be wonderful,
Good times, bad times,
You can never choose,
In the end it doesn't matter,
Nothing matters really,
So take everything you got,
Cuz nothin' better is coming,
You will die like the rest of us,
Resting in our coffins.

Seven shots with ****** knuckles,
four bottles of letting everyone down,
Eight hits from a disappointing life.

It only took me one trip to the rehab center called your touch. I used the medicine of your love to become sober.

now I am dependent on you, I need you every day and do not feel the same without you. I have an itch when I'm away and a warmth when I'm close. I became addicted to your love.

twelve tabs of compassion,
three pints of self-worth,
five pills of your warm embrace,
And one injection of beautiful passion.

I want you...

I need you...

I have you.

I love you.

It hides in the darkness
And lurks in the shadows

The sun can block it out
But not keep it away in the night

Sometimes the moon is my only solace
But it leaves

Then I'm left alone

The demons whispering
Become shouts

It leaves me deaf
And blinded

The light stolen
By the hateful thieves

With that light
Leaves
My
Hope

But it lingers in my mind
Even when it's pitch black

Even when the shouts make me deaf
I hear the words

Hold
On
Possibilities
Exist

The little birdie
My little angel
My wonderful friend

Is here
They snuck in
And were beside me
They were with me
Even through the worst

When no one was here
They still were
They became my light

Even now as I'm in the dark
I know they are here
And it gives me

Hope

People think I complain to much why do you think I'm more to myself ? Because I'm tired of having people saying don't worry about it don't stress out about it or you'll be okay every time I'm like.. be in my shoes for a week feel my struggle. But then I'll get the but I have it worse because this or someone could have it worse I'm not trying to make people feel sorry for me I want somebody to listen and give me motivation advice give me a spark to light my fire again.

Cement walls surround me.
The silence tortures me.
Crossed legged on the bed
With my head down,
Staring at a razor blade.

Oh how it excites me to see,
Blood dripping from an area where my watch should be.
I am numb to physical pain.
As i have had enough insanity.

I know deep down,
My heart screams for salvation.
Yet a stronger part that shares it,
Gives hell in ways unknown.
It screams but no one is hearing it,
Not even me.

Familiar to the situation.
Where I screamed and no one listened.
Where I spoke and no one responded.
Where I cared and no one seemed to appreciate.
The impact was stronger than they thought.
They say I'll be fine and Oh how I agreed.
Then they left.

Now I am left unloved.
Forced to smile when I don't want to.
Forced to cover up on sunny days where it's hot.
Forced to cry and refuse to go Out.
They don't love me.
And I do not know how to love myself.

Am I loosing myself?
Or did I years ago?
Is that why I feel so empty inside?

If blood was rubies and diamonds tears then I’d be rich
If words were weapons then I’d be stabbed
If thoughts were water then I’d be drowning
If we were our own demons then I’d be the devil
If misery was someone then I’d be its best friend
If rope was a necklace then I'd always wear it
If scars were bracelets then I’d wear many
If sickness were bullets then I’d be shot dead
If love was a video game then I’d be played the most
If limbs were friends then I’d lost many
If you were me then you’d know