you’re trailing behind me
like the past, it’s haunting me
unbeknownst to me
i was being watched
separated by two feet;
space and your resistance
that’s what’s keeping you from me
but you know where I go
when i need a clear head
giving into the resistance
you show up in red;
red so i can see you
no matter how far i go
some kind of game you play
so you don’t lose hope
this may all just be a delusion
that’s how it usually goes
maybe i’m the crazy one
but who really knows?

When I first laid my eyes on you,
I fell in love so passionately
My heart pounded deeply into my chest

Happiness overflowed my soul when you felt the same too
When we held hands on a beautiful summer day
When you kissed me and told how much you loved me

It saddens me to realize the delusion I've created
The result of a playful and desperate mind of mine
The love that doesn't really exist

Because we will never be for each other

Their gears twist and turn, cranking tirelessly
Round the mortal coils of a mellower
Art and content of games played wirelessly.
The game boards are awash with bellowers,
Slighted pawns too bound by echo tubing
Passed around to fortunetellers frightened
By town criers trying to throw heartstrings
Of lovers obsessed with burdens lightened.
"She is trapped and he the trapper," they say.
Shall he free her and see her twist and break?
Maybe that is her choice," but not today,
Or tomorrow or the next," he risks fate.
      Their goal is obvious: parting those two.
      Too bad their love is a folie à deux.

I look above me, the sky gets dark
They say its snow, but it could be rain.
As I stand, waiting for the next train
Greyish clouds are wearing your mark.

The wind blows, red leaves spin in the air,
Shaking, like the waves on your hair.
A cigarette drops on the wet concrete floor
It feels like forever, I can't wait anymore.

It gets cold, my heart beats stronger,
The breath hitching deep in my chest,
The teeth clench with shame and anger.
Your smile... I can't remember the rest.

An ice cold tear slowly slashes my eye
Dropping memories I won't see again.
Washed away as a meaningless lie,
As a childish delusion,
As a cigarette on the floor,
As a butterfly in the rain.

If I could make a tower
I'd make it out of you
And if the days go cold and sour
I'd climb to reach our rendezvous.

O' skin so clear and fair
Smooth like Mirror's reflection,
If I could stalk from way up there
I'd stare locked by your complexion.

But alas I mustn't touch
No matter the mortal urge
Or else it would be all to much
All discourse spells your fateful purge!

In my mind I say what I mean
And mean what I say.
But my actions could speak otherwise.
Am I a hypocrite if my mind is far greater than my own two hands?

Am I helpless if I know what to do,
But my body won’t move according to plan?

Am I deluded if I think I can
When I can’t,
Or if I think I can’t,
When I can?

Am I who I am
Or am I what I am?

I know we are not a thing anymore.
I know that we don’t even need to be.
I know you have people next door and
I am the last that you would like to see.

I am sorry that I misunderstood things.
Thought you weren’t looking for flings.
I am sorry that I tried to fool my heart
when I knew you’re going to break it apart.

Side to side I look
Hearing the icy taunting voices
Of all these people
Talking behind my back
Ridiculing my every action
My every action is a mistake,
Even staying still is a sin.
My heart pumps my chilled blood,
Faster and faster
Until I feel my veins will burst
My mind runs faster and faster
Filled with terrifyingly venomous thoughts
Now they’re taunting me,
Pointing ambiguous shadowy fingers,
Laughing in deep, echoed unison.
My vision starts to turn as black as the figures.
I want to run
I want to run
I want to run
I cannot run
They will taunt me for running,
They will toss me around,
Taunting me and beating me,
Bruising me all the same.

Collapsing on the icy floor of hell,
My delusions got the better of me.
I covered my head expectantly,
Waiting for it to come.
My face was wet with perspiration.
But it was not perspiration,  
It was my tears,
I was silently sobbing,
Trying not to show them.
They would find out, but I don’t want them to.

The distant black figures are next to me now,
Crowding around me and pointing.
I’m now sure they exist.
Their heaving laughter rings through my ears.
Their breath hitting me with an infernal flame.
Their bodies radiate a subzero aura,
Chilling than heating me just the same.

The shadows start to replace my own reality,
I want them to leave,
I want me to leave,
Neither of us move.

Their ambiguous shape is standing inches away now,
They are still closing in,
Getting ready for the ****.
My delusions are reality now.
I feel I will die when they reach me.

Suddenly it all goes black,
Then brown
Then blue
Then white
I’m curled on the floor.
I remember my delusions and shudder
I try to convince myself that it wasn’t real
But I cannot fight the fear overrunning me
It was too real that time.
I know it only could get worse.

The frozen flame
encloses me in pain.
The blue turns
to a radiating white.
I've become so blind now...
this can't be right.

I'm trapped inside a world so bright.

This world is so ****** up.
The smoke is falling down,
My pain is rising up.
It's hard to breathe.
I want to leave.

I'm being burned right through,
this scorching hell keeps shining
its infernal judgement
upon my dying soul.

My world's a burning light.
I can feel my soul fading,
but that's all right.

It's all right.