Follower of none, protector of one,
A door once open, oh what happened?
Chains once firm, when will I learn?
What once was dawn, has now become dusk,
Now I am cold, and I was once told,
“follow or fall, crawl down this hall,
Bow and grovel, conform to your mold,
You are a sin, let go of your hopeless hold,
No one can help, not even your kin,
So trust me when I say don't trust,
Follow me when I say don't follow,
A cell is just another word for home,
This bed is where you wallow,
I hear the dirt of a grave,
Is just a blanket so plain,
Deeper you fall,
Down this hall,
Chains once firm,
Door once open,
Follower of one, protector of none.

You make love taste rotten, like something that has been sitting out on the sidewalk underneath the afternoon sun. People like you only know how to love yourself and take more than you give. People like you love storms, ravaging the homes others have constructed, leaving nothing behind. You turn something wonderful into something I wish I never had. To you, love must mean Winning, must mean always being right, must mean crushing the person that I am just so you can build your ego a little higher. To you, I must look like a fight, a competitor, a challenge to defeat. You use your words and threats to make me forget that I am a vital part of the relationship, your kisses fall like duct tape on my lips, you don't let me be anything but yours. Yours to love, hurt, twist, break, yours to keep, own, manipulate. I know it is wrong to love someone like you. But that is why things like this are hard- you fall in love with oceans before you realize how easy it is for them to drown you, you fall in love with people before you see how even seemingly best of them can abuse you.

When everything dies an angel plays a tune
When everything leaves me is it bad to assume
That hatred is what keeps me strong ?
Though I could be wrong...
First mother then father now even my grandpa
Have all disappeared...like the lirycs of a forgotten song
Another day ends in defeat, another time I end up beat
Whats the point of ever even trying ?
If I would say that I am okey I would be lying
Its fine to die...we are all the same
Here hold this determinded flame...
Its all I have left....
Will someone take my hand ?
Or did my life already begin to end,
Like my father who has pathetically killed himself
A Umi who is left without any friend
Is worth nothing at all, maybe this is the right time, to take my fall
I cant take this anymore, not the blood I bled,
My vision begins to slowly turn red
Is this what is called fate ? Is this what I get ?
But we are not our past...not our fears..
Please someone rest with me...
Let me breathe and set me free,
Even if this wretched world with all its flaws might be beautiful
I don't want to be part of it anymore,
I want to rise into the heavens and soar..
I want to be free
HELP ME

~ Umi