In the Ninth circle
Of Hell
I ealk
The frozen path of
The ****** until I see a cold
Yes cold pit of flames
Where the resttry to
Get warm
With no success

No fiery fate awaits my ****** soul
In Dante’s infernal inferno, on Level Five
I will swim beneath the wrathful
To permanently drown, with bulging eyes
Gasping for a breath I can never take
The River Styx, the embodiment of my sorrow
Liquified unhappiness, stagnant sadness
My sin? To live my life with a glass half empty
Having found no joy in man, nor God, nor the world
Which has already left me feeling punished.
I wonder if I’ll get a break down there,
Or will I still have to work my ******* lunch hour!

"Stop yelling at me," I tell the walls,
as if they were the culprit.
Stop keeping time with my fingernails,
tracing squares in chalkboard wallpaper.
I have forgotten you.

If only you would forget me.

You trace lines on my skin,
Like a cartography of forgotten myth.

"Don't tell me what to think."
You don't own me.

"Don't tell me how to feel."
That is a priviledge you no longer possess.

"Leave me alone,
Old friend."

Leave me be.

I try my hardest not to think of you
To keep you from my mind
Cause you're not here
Swooning is my religion, faithful in my remembrance
Inside i think you're angelic
A terrible machine of destruction
That gets inside, looks at me, wings outstretched
Light pouring out of you
Leaving me bathed in the divine grace of fear
Be not a afraid
Knowing full well you every word obliterates me
Nearby, awash in the warmth of a higher being
Manically enlightened to the extent of myself
You are perfect, horrendous, immaculate, and untamed
Can do no wrong to me, or anyone else
When in fact I die
Because Ive made you a god in the pantheon of my mind

But youre a person
With a life, and flaws, and fears
You exist in the same way I do
Sick to your stomach
About a person you think of
Stuck on the thought of being
So overwhelmingly alone
Without them
Nearby
Amazing, and awesome
Your prayers landing on deaf, omnipotent ears
Saying time and time again
Be not afraid

The words that
                               d
                                  r
                          ­    i
                            p

off your serpentine tongue
dissolves the flesh            r
                                     u    n      n
                                  b         i        g
my lungs

breathless gasping at fetid air
reckless in this never ending nightmare
derelict and disrepair
death wish traveling nowhere
except
            D
            O
            W
            N

under­ a mound of stone and flowers
twirling aimless in  buffet showers
leaving flesh devoured

by passionate winds  
soul left caged in

self-indulging bones

left to wither to dust
this is the final price
of a wandering lust
a real fool's paradise

I wish I could speak words that assuage
But I’m nothing but an introvert
I’ve accepted this and that’s ok
I’ll type the words out in hopes of an alert
That you have read and agreed
At least that’s something I want to believe
But who am I kidding you don’t follow me
So I will admire from afar and dream
Of you
My sweet
Beatrice

No moon showing her lustrous wonder
No stars set ablaze
Only clouds sounding of thunder
Plunging rain greeting my gaze

Drops tasting of flame and damnation
Through a gap a gossamer star palpitates
Lonely and lost in its constellation
Only dolorous moans encapsulate
  
Gasping at fetid air
Face gurgling above scalding blood
Phlegethon, river of despair
My flesh becomes the mud

A figure appears over the precipice
A living body one that is whole
A lost man seems not necessitous
None that can help this tortured soul

A half horse is with he
Bow strung aimed at me
Risen higher than I should be
Arrow loosen my flesh stings

Awaken in sweat, four walls surrounding
A guilty conscience stewed this dream
Enclosed in darkness, alone, wailing
Recurring... haunting... blaspheme...

The deliverance of life echoed into that of pounding death
This frozen tower metamorphosing into a coffin sealed and fated
That gorgon’s gaze did I meet and uttered not a breath
Lost in those frightened eyes, thoughts left me sedated

“You stare so... Father, what is it?”

There I sat, day circling into night
By the dawn light through a reflection
I caught through their tragic sight
Left me gnawing at my hands, objection

“You put this wretched flesh upon us and now you may strip it off!”


Calmed my soul and silence we sat, another moon waxing

“Father, why don’t you help me?”

Left your lips while your languid soul seeps
Blind now with no words to offer
One by one perished but never did I weep
In the end
Hunger proved more powerful than grief.